Hey Friend

Somewhere along the way, we started believing that to be heard, we had to be harsh. That strength meant being louder, tougher, or more direct - even if it bruised someone along the way.

But here's the truth: you don’t have to be mean to make your point.

In leadership, how we listen shapes how we lead. And we listen through four lenses: fear, judgment, curiosity, and love.

Fear makes us defensive.

Judgment makes us right.

Curiosity invites understanding.

And love? Love makes space for growth, grace, and connection.

The more we can shift from fear and judgment into curiosity and love, the more impact we make - without sacrificing kindness.

Think about the last tough conversation you had.

Were you listening to protect yourself?

To be right?

Or were you genuinely curious about the other person’s perspective?

Were you willing to be changed by what they said?

When leaders approach feedback, accountability, and disagreement through the lens of curiosity or love, the result is radically different. People don’t shut down - they lean in. They feel seen, respected, and open to change. And importantly, they walk away whole.

Leading with kindness doesn’t mean softening your standards or avoiding challenge. It means being intentional with your language, direct without being damaging, and firm without being forceful.

If you're feeling worn down by the weight of responsibility and tired of leading from a space of reactivity, maybe it's time to shift the lens. To move from fear to love. From judgment to curiosity.

Because when you do, the conversations you’ve been avoiding start to feel doable. The culture you’ve been chasing begins to emerge. And the team you’ve been carrying starts to carry their own weight - with you.

✨ If you're ready to lead with strength and kindness, without burning out, then come to my Lead to Strengthen program where we talk about all of these concepts and how to shift your approach.

👉 The program is virtual and begins next week - 5th of August. https://www.shelleyflett.com/products/lead-to-strengthen-program

Let’s build the kind of leadership that lifts everyone - including you.

With strength and kindness,

Shelley 😁

Shelley Flett

Leadership Trainer, Facilitator & Coach | Shelley Flett Pty Ltd 

M: 0407 522 888 | E: shelley@shelleyflett.com | W: shelleyflett.com

Calendar: https://calendly.com/shelley_flett/leadership-development-discussion

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/shelley-flett