At our Portal live gathering last week, something very tender emerged.
Three different people, completely separately, spoke about the same thing.
They said that they had NOT yet:
But something in them had softened.
They were noticing themselves doing the thing…
and being kinder to themselves while it was happening.
And more compassionate after.
And honestly, I think that matters so much more than people realise.
Most of us think change happens when we finally stop struggling or doing 'the thing'.
But often real change begins when we stop turning against ourselves inside the struggle.
When we stop adding shame to pain.
When we stop becoming harsh and rejecting and disappointed in ourselves every time we notice ourselves repeating an old pattern.
You see, self-compassion eases our perception of danger.
And that calms the nervous system down.
And when the nervous system settles, things become easier to see.
Easier to shift.
Easier to choose differently.
Safety and kindness are much more powerful than force or self-attack.
Don't underestimate how life-changing it is to become a safer place for yourself.
Especially in your imperfect moments.
In The Portal of Permission we lovingly learn how to become stronger through self-compassion. You can join us anytime.
If you loved yourself, how might you speak to yourself the next time you notice yourself struggling or getting something 'wrong'?
