The other day at yoga, while we were contorting into some unnatural shape, the teacher said:
“Be relaxed in the posture, not collapsed.”
It landed in me like one of those tiny sentences that opens a whole cupboard in your mind and all the pots fall out.
Because yes.
That.
We often think the opposite of pushing ourselves is doing nothing.
But sometimes doing nothing is not actually rest.
Sometimes it’s collapse.
Becoming floppy.
Or actually just avoidance wearing a soft dressing gown.
And please hear me kindly when I say this, because I am not judging it. I know this place too.
When you’ve spent years being driven by pressure, guilt, fear, responsibility, deadlines, other people’s needs, and the terrifying possibility of disappointing someone…
a space with no pressure can feel strange.
Wonderful.
But strange.
If no one is making you do the loving thing, will you still do it?
If no one is checking up on you, will you still come back to yourself?
If no one is shaming you into growth, can you choose nourishment anyway?
This is such an important part of self-love.
Not the dramatic part.
Not the “I have transformed my entire life and now glow gently in linen outfits” part.
The tiny part.
The part where you choose fifteen minutes a week for your wellbeing.
You watch the video.
You listen to the meditation.
You write the comment.
You ask yourself one honest question.
You let the support actually reach you.
Not because you have to.
Because you matter.
That’s the difference.
Pressure says, “Do this or you’re failing.”
Self-love says, “This will help me. I’m allowed to receive it.”
And that is the beautiful revolutionary middle space I want for all of us.
Not pushing.
Not collapsing.
Relaxed.
Still choosing the small thing that supports us in each moment.
A member recently wrote to me, “So enjoying this Portal of Permission - I can feel myself growing kinder to myself and it feels nourishing.”
That’s the ripple of small, steady self-loving practice.
You are invited to join this unusual space of no pressure and lots of self-love support.
If you loved yourself, what would you choose to do now?
