Hi Friend.
I don't know about you, but I am finding it very hard to believe that it's March here tomorrow in 2022.
However, that may have something to do with the fact that I spent my long awaited time off over Christmas and the New Year in Hospital with a perforated appendix, lots of infection and 4 hours of surgery from which I am still recovering.
I was admitted to Hospital in the early hours of New Years Eve and discharged back to stay with my eldest son 7 days later until my youngest son who I live with, recovered from Covid so I could go home.
Yes, it was not quite what I was expecting either. ;)
So as this has been my first experience of major surgery, I had nothing to compare it to and I found myself wondering for the first time in a long time, am I doing enough?
Should I be walking more, be capable of doing more, is my healing too slow, am I resting too much or should I be pushing myself a little because basically I had no idea what was "normal" or not.
I think the whole "Am I doing enough" is a question so many of us with chronic illness ask ourselves because so very often, it is a situation that nothing could have prepared us for.
Luckily I have worked out a process for how to cope with a new health crisis and I wanted to share it with you Friend because it may be exactly where you feel stuck.
Step 1. Normalise it.
Because there is so much uncertainty and unknowns in chronic illness that create anxiety, knowing what is "normal" for other people dealing with your illness gives you an idea of what to expect and what others have experienced.
Being able to normalise the experience can give you much needed reassurance that you are not alone and more of an idea of what to expect and what worked for others.
I went straight to my amazing community on my Emotional Autoimmunity Facebook page and asked them what their experience of surgery had been and how long it took them to recover.
It was honestly the best thing I could have done because up until then, I was gauging my healing on the standard appendectomy information that the hospital had discharged me with, which was a three week recovery and then back to normal work and life.
Once people shared their experiences with me about how much time it took and that I had to take into account the infection, loads of antibiotics and my existing chronic illnesses, I realised that my expectations were extremely unrealistic. It really took the pressure off and was so reassuring!
Step 2. What am I actually prepared to do?
When it comes to living as well as you can with chronic illness, you have a series of choices of things to try or change, depending on your unique situation.
Basically the choices are: do nothing, do a little or do a lot and all of these choices are 100% ok.
When I first became chronically ill almost 9 years ago, I chose to do a lot, mostly because I was physically and cognitively disabled and I couldn't work or look after myself.
However, some people do wonderfully well just by getting the right medication or supplements.
Others find going gluten free is more than enough to make the difference.
Ultimately, there is no right on wrong here, you are doing enough if works for you.
Change involves sacrifice and many of these changes can mean giving up something that you have an emotional investment in whether it's food, an activity, career or even relationships that no longer serve you.
You know that you are doing enough when you feel that any sacrifices or changes you are making have given you something valuable back that made it worthwhile to you.
Everyone has their own personal line in the sand of things that they are prepared to sacrifice to try and get better health and function before it becomes detrimental.
There are a million rabbit holes you can get lost in Friend looking for root causes, the perfect diet, the right supplements and different regimes until you can get so caught up in trying to manage your illness, that it completely takes over your life.
Feeling like you are not doing enough is also an easy mindset to slip into because so often, the people around us have zero idea of what living with chronic illness is like.
They wrongly believe you are not getting "better" because you are not doing enough or trying hard enough or because you are lazy and attention seeking.
All of that can leave you feeling guilty, overwhelmed, hopeless and wondering why everyone else seems to be doing so well when you are struggling and feeling like a failure.
So Friend, if you are stuck feeling like you are not doing enough and you want to learn all of the essential skills and emotional tools that I use to manage my own illnesses and make the best of my life, then book in your FREE Discovery Session with me now online.
You will be amazed at how much easier it is to choose what is best for you when you have the right emotional skills and tools to know what you want to change and have the right motivation to make it stick.
Warm wishes,
Kerry
P.S. If your 2022 had a rough start like mine did, I am sending you extra big hugs.
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