Subject: Ready to lead, not just manage?

Leading isn't the same thing as managing. Learn what it really takes to be an effective leader.

Success Without Sacrifice

N E W S L E T T E R

Anti-hustle strategies for lawyers who want more control, impact, and life.

Leadership isn't a title, nor is it just another skill. It’s a way of being.


Let me explain…


The best leaders I've known aren’t the smartest people in the room. Nor do they always have the most impressive credentials (in fact, they often don't have the most impressive paper credentials).


But you know what they do well?

  • They make you feel heard and seen.

  • They stay calm when everything is falling apart.

  • And they can read a room and adjust accordingly (quickly).

In other words, they have high emotional intelligence (also known as EQ).


If you want to lead effectively — whether that's a team, a practice group, or an entire firm — EQ is your starting point.


Here are the 5 elements of emotional intelligence (and what they look like in practice):


ELEMENT ONE

Self-Awareness

This is your foundation. Because you can't change what you don't see. Here's what self-awareness is:

  • Recognizing your stress triggers before they hijack you.

  • Understanding how your mood affects your decision-making & impacts your team.

  • Knowing your strengths AND your blind spots.

Self-aware leaders don't spray their stress onto everyone else. They catch themselves first. And they aren’t afraid of their weaknesses, but instead want to know them and plan around them.

ELEMENT TWO

Self-Regulation

Awareness isn't enough. You have to manage what you're feeling (so that the proverbial %*#@ doesn’t roll downhill). Here's what effective self-regulation looks like:

  • Pausing when triggered.

  • Reframing for possibility and learning.

  • Responding instead of reacting.

Basically, not letting a bad morning become everyone else's bad day.


This is composure in action. And it's what separates real leaders (that people respect) from “leaders” in title only.

ELEMENT THREE

Motivation

This isn't the pressure-driven, fear-based kind of motivation (that isn’t actual motivation; it's emotional blackmail). Instead, it's the kind that's rooted in purpose.

  • Knowing WHY you're doing the work (beyond just a paycheck).

  • Staying driven even when things get hard.

  • Creating meaning for yourself AND your team.

Motivated leaders don't just push through. They pull others forward and inspire others to be (and do) their best.

ELEMENT FOUR

Empathy

Empathy is often misunderstood. It isn't about agreement, but about understanding.

  • Seeing situations from others' perspectives.

  • Reading the emotions behind the words.

  • Connecting with people where they are (not where you think they should be).

Empathy builds trust (the currency of leadership).

ELEMENT FIVE

Social Skills

This is where everything comes together.

  • Building healthy relationships across levels and personalities.

  • Reading the room and adjusting your approach.

  • Communicating in a way that lands (not just in a way that sounds good to you).

Leaders with strong social skills don't just manage people.


They motivate.

They inspire.

They influence.


THE TRUTH

Soft Skills Aren't Optional (or "Soft")

I am not a fan of calling these skills "soft" skills. Because that causes many of us to discount them and treat them as optional.


Here's what I know to be true, Friend:


You can be the smartest person in the room…

You can have the most experience…

You can work more hours than everyone else…


And not be a real leader (or be respected by others).


Because if you can't regulate your emotions, read others, and connect authentically, you're not leading. You're just managing (poorly).


And there's a big difference.


Want to learn more about how to be an effective leader? Listen to today's podcast interview with Allison Williams >>> here.


XO,

Heather


P.S. Want even more leadership resources? Check out the other podcasts mentioned in the show notes for today's episode.


Your Law Practice. Your Life. On Your Terms.

Ready to take back control, ditch the grind and lead with your strengths?

MINDSET, LEADERSHIP & BUSINESS COACHING

A B O U T

H E A T H E R

Former BigLaw partner. Lawyer coach. Cancer survivor. Mom x2. Recovering overachiever.


I traded in my $2.5MM+ practice to help lawyers create the kind of success that doesn’t come at the cost of their well-being.


Learn more about me here.