Don't leave the boys behind

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Subject: Don't leave the boys behind

Success Without Sacrifice

N E W S L E T T E R

Anti-hustle strategies for lawyers who want

more control, more impact, more life.

Jim was one of my first business coaching clients. I assumed his challenges would be different than the lawyer women I'd known. I was wrong.

From the outside, he had it all figured out. But in our sessions, he talked about the same things every lawyer mom I’ve known talks about:

A desire to be there for his kids (available whenever they need him).
The constant push-pull between being present at home and building something meaningful at work.
Worrying about the impact of never really being able to give 100% to any one thing.

The truth?

Men struggle with many of the same things women do. They wrestle with the same questions women do. They feel the same exhaustion, have much of the same guilt, and battle with the same impossible math of trying to "do it all."

I just hadn't given it all that much thought. Because we don't really talk about it (and sometimes, the guys use different language to say much the same thing).

BEFORE GOING TOO FAR, A NOTE:

We've Made Real Progress

Let me be clear: the progress we've made (inside law and societally) supporting women is a good thing. A really good thing.

And yes, real progress has been made.

More mentorship programs.
More networking groups.
More conversations about what it means to be a working mom.
More visibility for the unique challenges professional women face.

This should continue.

But I've been thinking about something lately:

Supporting one group doesn't require ignoring another. And somewhere along the way, I think some of us have forgotten that.

WHAT I'VE NOTICED:

A Quiet Gap

When a working mom struggles with work-life balance, there are resources. Communities. People who get it.

All structured specifically for working moms. But what about when working dads struggle with similar issues?

The fact that the term “working Dad” sounds weird is a clue…

There aren’t many resources out there. For male attorneys, there has traditionally been nothing.

That gap leaves a distinct message: Figure it out yourself.

As the Mom of two boys, I’ve become more adept at noticing this gap. It feels like we’ve created a zero-sum mindset. But supporting men doesn't take anything away from women.

In fact, I believe supporting men will help women, too.

WHY THIS MATTERS

For Us All

When boys and men are left to "figure it out," here's what happens:

Families suffer. When dads don't have support, moms often pick up the slack — which is the opposite of what we're trying to achieve.

Workplaces suffer. Disengaged, burned-out individuals (of any gender) don't do their best work. They leave. Or worse, they stay and disengage (which hurts everyone around them).

Society suffers. We need everyone thriving. Not just some of us.

And here's the deal:

Men who feel supported are also more likely to support women.
Men taking parental leave make it easier for women to take their full leave.
Men leaving work early for their kids changes the conversation (from mom-focused to parent-focused — where it should be).

Families benefit. Communities benefit. The culture shifts.

GREAT NEWS:

Signs of Hope

Matthew Korn noticed this gap within the legal profession. And he did something about it.

He founded Dads Esquire — an online community exclusively for lawyer dads. A space where they can talk openly about their struggles, get support, and share advice.

It's exactly the kind of thing that should exist. And now it does.

If you're a lawyer dad who's been figuring it out alone, you need to listen to today’s podcast (and join Dads Esquire!).

But even if you’re not a lawyer dad, I recommend you listen. Because it’s time for us to start supporting both women AND men. Moms AND dads.

Whatever the profession.

XO,

Heather

Your Law Practice. Your Life. On Your Terms.

Ready to take back control, ditch the grind and lead with your strengths?

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