Subject: Be careful what you wish for?

Or wish anyway? And then go do it.

Success Without Sacrifice

N E W S L E T T E R

Anti-hustle strategies for lawyers who want

more control, more impact, more life.

Be careful what you wish for.


Something my Mom used to say to me when I dreamed big. I never really listened to her advice (why NOT want to go after bigger, better things?).


Although truth: I had a moment of "What if Mom was right?" after making partner.


After years of thinking about the money, independence, and control I would have when I got promoted, all the new responsibilities and expectations had me quietly panicking (for months) after being promoted.


The same thing happened with my coaching/consulting business. When I was planning for it, I longed for the flexibility and freedom I would have.


When I went out on my own?


The financial stress of starting from zero, without a paycheck (and no good health insurance options as a cancer survivor) was intense.


Be careful what you wish for, indeed.


Yet I wouldn't go back and change a thing.


So what made the difference? Here are the lessons I've learned from these experiences (that have helped me go after bigger things — again and again):

KNOW THIS:

Upsides Aren't Automatic

Whether we're talking about a promotion, career pivot, or other big changes to your career/life, the upside you keep focusing on isn't a given.


It involves a choice.


Choose to do the hard work. Choose to get uncomfortable. Choose to fail (to learn, grow, and ultimately succeed).


Not willing to make those choices? The upside won't be as great (and honestly, might never happen).


It's important to understand and accept this going in.

THE THING ABOUT RISK IS THIS:

It's Always There

The human brain doesn't like change. It equates it to risk. And it assumes that no change is less (or even no risk).


So, when weighing options, your brain's instinct is to pick the option that seems to have fewer unknowns and more stability, which is almost always going to be the well-worn path (everyone else follows) or the thing you've been doing forever (not the new thing you've never done before).


But things (and other people) change. Which will introduce new risk (even to the path you've long been on). What about those risks that your brain can't yet comprehend?

And what about the risk of who you might become for not making a wanted change or going after something you've long thought about?


There will always be risk. On both sides. Be honest about it so you don't default to a choice that feels less risky yet might not be.

THE BIGGEST LESSON:

Mindset Is What Determines Your Choices

When it comes to decisions that impact your life (especially the big ones), like pivoting your career, changing employers, or going after partnership, you have a choice in how you view that impact.


For example, when it comes to being promoted to partnership…


You can look at partnership as a weight — all the obligations, the expectations, the pressure. And quickly get overwhelmed by it all.


Or you can view it as the platform to build something that's yours while also further growing personally/professionally (because of the heightened obligations and work).


Mindset is a choice, Friend. And that choice is impactful for:

  • The opportunities you identify.

  • Where you end up.

  • Who you are (day in and day out).

So yes, Mom — be careful what you wish for.


But also? Wish anyway. And then go do.


XO,

Heather

Life & Law Podcast

YOUR PRACTICE. YOUR LIFE. ON YOUR TERMS.

Listen to this week’s Life & Law to learn How To Maximize Legal Conference Attendance (this is a must-listen if you are attending conferences any time soon).

A B O U T

H E A T H E R

Former BigLaw partner. Lawyer coach. Cancer survivor. Mom x2. Recovering overachiever.


I traded in my $2.5MM+ practice to help lawyers create the kind of success that doesn’t come at the cost of their well-being.


Learn more about me here.