1998: I dreaded networking. I always had a plan to get out as quickly as humanly possible.
2009: I looked forward to networking events. Not only that, but I networked effectively (after all, networking is the primary way I built my book as a lawyer).
What changed?
I finally figured out what worked for me.
The advice I heard in those early days was to "work the room." Which happened to be the exact wrong advice for me.
Thankfully, the market crashed in 2008 (yes, thankfully; keep reading for why that is).
In 2008, I had just made partner (as a finance attorney). Every bit of business I had (to make the case for partnership) was gone by the end of that year.
By early 2009, I realized I had to do something if I didn't want to end up one of those partners quietly asked to leave because I had too few billable hours and no business.
Not going to sugar coat it… I was forced to figure things out.
I started paying attention to how people networked (and graded them based on how they made me feel and how others responded).
Here's what I noticed:
The way many of the extroverts communicated felt awkward to me. They were willing to talk to anyone and ask for business from anyone at any time (which, to me, felt like a numbers game — something I could never get comfortable with).
But the people I was drawn to?
They showed up curious, focused on helping others (in whatever way they could). And they quickly honed in on people with similar interests and synergies, shrinking the room (and their targets).
Work often followed more quickly than you’d expect (because of those synergies!).
That’s when I realized I didn’t need to “work the room” or be someone I’m not. I just needed to show up curious, with a service-oriented mindset.
So that I could get to know people. And stick with the ones who fit me (my personality, my strengths).
By the end of 2010, I had a $1MM+ book (that later grew into a multi-million dollar practice).
Not because I am the best networker. But because I learned to show up as me.
If you've been forcing yourself to network, trying to “work the room”, and hating every minute of it, consider this your permission slip to stop, Friend.
Your personality isn't the problem. It might actually be your biggest advantage.
Show up curious, aiming to serve. Rule out those who don’t fit your personality or values. Focus on building relationships with the ones who do.
Simple yet powerful.
XO,
Heather
P.S. For more about how to market, network, and sell in a way that actually sells (not because you’re selling but because the strategies are uniquely YOU), get My Top 5 Legal Marketing Tips on this week's Life & Law >>>here.
