Brain retraining (about to commence)

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Subject: Brain retraining (about to commence)

Success Without Sacrifice

N E W S L E T T E R

Because real success leaves space for real life.

“I’m not sure I am up for this. Maybe I’m out of my league.”

[My inner voice, as I was putting together the inaugural group of my mastermind].

It was the same voice that always showed up to question my abilities, remind me of past mistakes, and tell me I was out of my depth (and soon, everyone else would figure it out).

I was familiar with that voice. It had shown up before:

Right after I moved to a new law firm (5 years into my legal career).
Just one month after being promoted to partnership.
When trying to pivot my law practice (thanks to the financial crisis).

Some call this lack of confidence. Others have given the voice a fancy name:

Impostor Syndrome.

But this time, there was a big difference from the times before. This time, I knew how to handle the voice.

Here’s what I’ve learned about impostor syndrome (and how to overcome it):

STEP 1

Accept (Mabye Even Embrace) It

Ever notice that impostor syndrome almost always shows up when pushing past upper limits, challenging yourself, and/or doing something totally new?

Think about what that means...

It's to be expected (and normal).

Accept that. Embrace what it means about you and what you're doing (instead of telling yourself it's "bad" and something to be ashamed of).

STEP 2

Reframe It

Reframing is when you identify the positives in a negative.

Not false positives, mind you. Things that are real.

And when impostor syndrome shows up, there are lots of positives (because again, it means you’re growing).

Identify how this new challenge is good for you.
List all the things you’re learning.
Connect the discomfort to your (real) growth.

Will you still feel uncomfortable? Of course.

But doing this will make it feel like the discomfort is truly worth it. Which also has a way of diminishing some of it (not all, but some).

Now to the step most lawyers skip, which happens to be the most powerful one...

STEP 3

Share It

Share how you feel. The doubt, the fear, and the worry.

Share these things with:

Friends and family. People who know you well enough to help get you out of your own head and see the truth behind who you are.
Mentors. True mentors will listen and then share how they’ve dealt with similar feelings (they've been there too).
Peers. This is where most lawyers mess up (we get too wrapped up in what others will think, assuming they can't possibly feel the same way). Identify a few peers you trust that you can truly confide in (and share away).

Sharing how you feel with others clearly showcases that you’re not alone, it’s not just you, and it’s going to be fine.

OVERCOMING

Impostor Syndrome

Most attorneys tell me they feel isolated in their struggles. As if they're the only ones dealing with management challenges, business development fears, or leadership doubts.

They feel this way because they are isolated (they don't ever talk to others about these feelings).

And I know it’s not just lawyers who stay silent (it's a pretty common high-achiever trait).

Allowing yourself to be isolated (by never sharing how you feel or what you're struggling with) is what feeds impostor syndrome.

But when you do share those fears and doubts, Friend?

Suddenly, others say “Me too!”, and you realize that the voice wasn't telling the truth. It was just scared.

Confidence goes up. You know you’re not an impostor, just human. And you realize you are not alone.

XO,

Heather

P.S. Remember that mastermind I was scared to launch? Doors are now open to fill my 8th group.

Know what members say they value most? Having peers with whom they can confide and who understand their challenges. This builds real confidence, thereby creating real action. In their words:

“The Mastermind gave me the confidence to talk about what I do and the value I bring without feeling disingenuous or salesy. No more downplaying my successes, I now own them.” - Kristen
“This experience changed how I see myself professionally, giving me tools to move forward with confidence.” - Emily
“My confidence has never been higher, and I’m already on track to triple my originations compared to last year.” - Leslie

If you're an attorney who wants results like theirs, learn more about how the mastermind can help >>> here.

A B O U T

H E A T H E R

Former BigLaw partner. Lawyer coach. Cancer survivor. Mom x2. Recovering overachiever.

I traded in my $2.5MM+ practice to help lawyers create the kind of success that doesn’t come at the cost of their well-being.

Learn more about me here.

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Subject: Brain retraining (about to commence)