Do you know the difference (perfectionism vs. high standards)?

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Subject: Do you know the difference (perfectionism vs. high standards)?

Success Without Sacrifice

Practical, lawyer-tested strategies for sustainable success in law and life.

You've heard it. And probably said it, too.

"Done is better than perfect."

But how often do you actually follow it, Friend?

One of the problems is this: Most people don't know the difference between perfectionism and high standards. Especially lawyers.

Our profession rewards what looks like perfectionism:

Precision.
Details.
Getting things right.

And yes, these things matter (a lot!).

But where is the line between delivering quality vs. being trapped in a perfectionist spin cycle?

Here's the difference:

DEFINING

High Standards

People with high standards (not perfectionists merely calling it "high standards"):

Try their best and feel good about their effort (regardless of outcome).
View mistakes as data, not disasters.
Let go and move on (they don't obsess and second-guess).

High standards push you forward. As opposed to perfectionism…

SPOTTING

Perfectionism

Nothing ever feels good enough to a perfectionist. Which is why they're often regarded as procrastinators.

Contrary to popular belief, most procrastination isn't laziness; It's perfectionism in disguise. You're not avoiding the work because you don't care. You're avoiding it because you care so much that starting (or finishing) feels impossible when the result might not be good enough.

To a perfectionist, small mistakes feel catastrophic. They can't let go. But they don't learn much (if anything) from mistakes.

Their mindset is: "If it's not perfect, it's a failure."

And they obsess over how they are perceived. This leads to more stress, overwhelm, and perfectionist tendencies.

It's an unyielding downward cycle.

THE BIGGEST DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

Perfectionism & High Standards?

The underlying cause and biggest difference between these two things are:

Mindset (and the motivation it creates).

A perfectionist is afraid to let go because:

What if you didn't catch something?
What if it's not what's expected?
What if someone realizes you're not up to par?

Someone with high standards realizes that:

Even if you missed something,
Even if you don't do what's expected, and
Even if you lack in something,

It's not the end (nor the end of the world). You can reevaluate, learn, and revise.

One is motivated by fear. The other is motivated by the ability to grow and do better.

A WARNING:

Perfectionism recovery is a lifelong practice.

You must be diligent not to drift back into perfectionist tendencies.

Case in point:

I was scheduled to launch Season 6 of Life & Law last week. But after recording my first two, I realized the acoustics in my new office are terrible (the echo, y'all).

I did some research, covered my office floor with blankets, push-pinned a red bedsheet across my office window, and hit record (again).

And then tried, for hours, to edit away the hollow sound (it was as if I'd recorded from the bottom of an empty well).

Notice what happened?

My perfectionism was peeking out. I was frantically trying to "fix" something that couldn't be fixed. All because I'd set a date I didn't want to push.

I thought I was being disciplined. "Done is better than perfect," right?

But in this case, chasing "done" was perfectionism. I was forcing a deadline (that could easily be extended) because pushing it felt like failure.

THE CYCLE

It's not just about wasted time.

Before excusing your own perfectionism (because it's at least part of why you've gotten this far)...

When perfectionism takes root (really takes root), it stops being a personality trait and starts being a problem.

Near-constant worry about mistakes you haven't even made yet.
A relentless "you're never going to be good enough" inner voice.
The emotional weight of believing you can never measure up.
Self-worth based entirely on your last performance review, your last case outcome, someone else's opinion.

That's not high standards. That's a trap. And it's where burnout originates.

If this one resonates, it's time to start letting go of the perfectionism.

XO,

Heather

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A B O U T

H E A T H E R

Former BigLaw partner. Lawyer coach. Cancer survivor. Mom x2. Recovering overachiever.

I traded in my $2.5MM+ practice to help lawyers create the kind of success that doesn’t come at the cost of their well-being.

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Subject: Do you know the difference (perfectionism vs. high standards)?