90 Day Kink Mini Challenge #2
How's your progress on your goal? If you haven't made at least one baby-step toward achieving it, commit to one now and do it by the end of the week. The joy of doing a group challenge like this is that we hold each other accountable, so right now, I'm holding your feet to the fire! (evil grin).
This week's mini-challenge is about appreciation. You have to stay focused on what you want in your sex life, not on what you don't have. You may lack the perfect partner or a partner at all, you may not have had sex in three years, or you may be looking to cash in that V-card. Regardless of where you are now, you can find something to appreciate. The state of appreciation is what opens us up to achieving more and receiving what we want in life.
I wrote a short story called "Boot Camp" (from The Mayor's Discipline) a few years ago, because I think the idea of having a weekend D/s boot camp to establish/reaffirm roles and get your kink on is super hot. Traditionally, a boot camp involves strict rules for the sub, along with practice punishments, and several relationship-building exercises for both the dom and the sub to complete to strengthen the bond.
The following is one of the exercises Luis and Claire completed during their boot camp. It's an "Appreciative Inquiry" about their kink life. Both partners fill out the form and then share their answers with each other. - What does your partner do that makes you feel loved?
- What does your partner do that makes you feel sexy?
- What more could your partner do to help you feel loved, sexy and/or supported?
- What ways do you like to show your love?
- How can you build on what you have?
- What new kinky activities would you like to try out?
- Describe a fantasy you'd love to have fulfilled.
- What things can your partner do to help you feel submissive/dominant?
- What things do you do to help yourself feel submissive/dominant?
- What past moment(s) stand out as hot examples of your partner being dominant or submissive?
- (For a domestic discipline relationship) What rules do you love? What rules would help you grow?
My challenge this week is for you to complete the Appreciative Inquiry, either alone or with a partner. You are, of course, welcome to change or add to the questions as fits your kink goal and situation.
If you're not in a relationship, use this as a fantasy quiz to help you identify the traits of the partner you'd love to attract into your life and appreciate all the traits you can and will bring to your future relationship.
I know this takes a little bit of effort, but it is absolutely worth it. Looking at what already works in your sex life will give you the foundation on which to build!
If you haven't already, I invite you to join us in the FB group (90 Day Kink Challenge). To join it, you have to friend me first (a FB rule--feel free to unfriend me after) and then send me an email or FB message and let me know you'd like me to add you to the group. It's a nice way to feel supported and discuss your progress. If you don't want to join the FB group, feel free to reply to these messages.
Reply to this email with any feedback on the result of your Appreciative Inquiry, or post it in the Facebook group.
Kinky not Crazy,
Renee
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