I hate to start off the week when we celebrate gratitude by talking about toxic students. I'd rather talk about how thankful we should be that we have students (we should) and about all the things we should be doing to show that (which I hope you are).

However, I've been hearing a lot of stories lately about students and clients who are acting all holy hell on martial arts instructors. 

One guy had a parent pull his kids out of his classes because he found out the instructor belonged to a different political party (which is why you shouldn't share your political beliefs online, but I digress). 

Another got lambasted in an email by a parent, who said she was "disgusted and sickened" because he raised his rates by a few bucks each month.

Still another had a client post a really nasty online review... and this was after the instructor bent over backwards to help them, and even refunded their money to boot.

Is This Mass Hysteria? Or Something Else?

Folks, this is craziness. 

Some of it can be attributed to the mass hysteria that is going on right now due to the U.S. presidential election. What's crazy is that people on "the other side" were losing their minds eight years ago. Politics in American are cyclical... so in four or eight more years, "the other other side" will be back in power. Definitely this is not the end of the world as we know it, but you wouldn't know that by the way people are reacting.

And to some extent, much of this sort of behavior (clients acting badly) can also be attributed to the culture of entitlement that has swept across modern society. "Moral outrage" seems to be the order of the day, and social media has made it fashionable to be publicly outraged over everything from the results of the presidential election to the fact that the barista at Starbucks spelled your name wrong on your coffee cup.

Talk about first-world problems. *Sigh*

But in most cases when you get a client who simply cannot be pleased and who seems to delight in creating drama in your dojo, the reason why this happens is really quite simple.

It's because there are a lot of crazy people in this world. 

"I See Crazy People"

The psychology wonks tell us that between 1-in-24 and 1-in-100 people have sociopathic tendencies that span an array of mental health diagnoses. The good news is that most of those people are nonviolent, but that doesn't mean they don't hurt anyone.

The more likely scenario is that they wreak havoc in personal and professional relationships, and take great joy in manipulating and destroying others. These people are more or less your classic rotten bastard or evil bitch from soap operas and late night TV dramas. 

But in real life, it's not quite as entertaining to watch... especially if you become the target of their ire. 

That Which Has Been Witnessed Cannot Easily Be Dismissed

Many people laugh when you tell them there are tons of high-functioning crazy people in society, and that they have to deal with them every day.

However, I never needed to be convinced of this fact, because I spent a great deal of my childhood in the care of a narcissistic sociopath. And, time and again I witnessed this person control and manipulate the people around them to get what they wanted. 

In practice, it was a full-time game for them that they thoroughly enjoyed. This person would often take advantage of the kindness of others or trick good people, and then they would laugh about it afterwards. Mostly this was done through emotional manipulation. And sometimes, through outright lying and deceit.

But, they always either got their way, or they exacted their revenge when they didn't. Always, and without exception.

"Knowing Is Half The Battle!"

And that's what non-violent sociopaths do -- they manipulate people to get what they want. Life is a game to them, and it's all about winning by hurting others. 

So, this week I thought I'd spend some time talking about toxic students one more time, and give you some practical strategies for dealing with them. 

In preparation, if you have time today I'd like you to go read the following article, because it'll serve as your primer for learning how to recognize toxic people: