This week, I’ve been thinking about how often self-love gets misunderstood.

So many people believe it has to be shiny, confident, or impressive.

Or that it’s selfish.

Or that it’s something you do after you’ve sorted yourself out.

But real self-love is quieter than that.

It’s the moment you notice you’re tired and stop pushing.

The moment you pause instead of overriding yourself.

The moment you don’t abandon yourself – even just a little.

And here’s the thing we're not usually told:

Learning to do that can feel strange at first.

Sometimes even scary.

Especially if you learned long ago that being “good” meant coping, pleasing, or carrying on.

That’s why it matters so much not to do this work alone.

There is something deeply regulating about being around other people who are also daring to soften, to listen, to matter.

It gives permission.

It builds courage.

It helps your nervous system relax into, “Oh… maybe I’m allowed too.”

This month, in The Portal of Permission we are exploring self-love as a way of living.

Not perfectly.

Just honestly.

And if you’re longing for gentle structure, shared language, and support to make this a real Year of Permission – you’ll know where to find us.  

Be gentle with yourself.

Even noticing this matters.

If you loved yourself, what would you choose to do now?