She looked at me with slightly frenzied eyes.
It was like she had ’OVERWHELMED‘ stamped on her forehead.
Then she told me about all the things she was trying to manage and juggle.
Health fears and not feeling well, concerns about finances, not enough work coming in, uncertainty about her future, worries about her children, paperwork and admin lagging behind, house cluttered with too much everywhere, projects half-finished and others waiting to be started…
She explained to me how she was failing, how she should be different than she is, how the things she does are not good enough…
It‘s so painful to watch a lovely person beat themselves up, isn't it?
I reminded her about being gentle with herself.
She rolled her eyes.
”If you need to rest, can you honour that and rest?“ I asked.
She gave me a skeptical look.
”I think I might be resting too much. I won‘t get anything done if I keep resting.“
We discussed the difference between self-loving resting and unhealthy avoidant resting and how to know which one you're doing in any given moment.
”If you are resting because you need it, it‘ll feel deeply good“ I reminded her.
”If it‘s avoidance, it doesn’t really feel deeply good. Then it‘s not kind to yourself to keep resting.“
We spoke kindly and gently about all the things she is dealing with and towards the end of the hour, she was looking lighter and more relaxed.
She had even spontaneously identified a number of things she was doing well.
It turned out that there was just one scary area that was a problem, and she had done all she could about it.
Things weren't as bad as she was frightening herself into believing.
’How are you feeling now?“ I asked her at the end.
”Lighter.“ She said. ”Better.“
”Do you still think being gentle and kind with yourself will make things worse?“ I nudged gently.
”No. It makes things easier and more flowing.“ She acknowledged smiling.
If you loved yourself, how would you be kinder to yourself now?
PS. This month in The Portal of Permission we're learning how to be kind to ourselves in moments of overwhelm. The membership is still closed for this month, but will open again soon. Put your name on the waiting list HERE and I'll let you know as soon as the doors opens again.
