There is a phrase I find myself repeating to people over and over and over…
I say it in my sessions with clients…
I say it in my courses…
I say it in my membership The Portal of Permission…
Over and over and over.
And each time I say it…
People have a reaction of some kind.
Sometimes their whole body visibly relaxes.
Sometimes they look sad.
Sometimes they become distressed and agitated.
I know you‘re waiting for me to tell you what the phrase is.
You‘re also going to have some reaction when I say it.
You‘ll laugh ironically, or relax, or roll your eyes, or nod your head…
Are you ready?
Ok.
Here it is.
Be gentle with yourself.
That‘s it.
What happened inside you when you read it?
Read it again.
Take a breath and pause a moment to reflect on what response you had before continuing to read.
What does it mean, to be gentle with yourself?
It means, be kind to you.
Have patience.
Treat yourself like you would treat a young child feeling this way.
Respond to yourself as you would to a dear friend in your situation.
You‘re often SO much kinder to others than you are to yourself.
As someone said in our Live Permission Gathering last month, ”If a child banged their knee I would ask are you ok? Do you need help? And I would feel empathy for them. If I bang my knee I tell myself I mustn’t be so clumsy and I push myself on without empathy.“
It‘s not fair to you, this harsh, unkind treatment.
It has unhappy consequences.
This month in The Portal of Permission we are learning how to love yourself in Too-Muchness and Overwhelm.
Because, when life gets very busy, and there‘s too much going on, its hard to feel balanced.
And that‘s when we need gentleness, kindness and understanding the most.
But we tend to be even less gentle with ourselves at those times.
Do you know what I mean? Do you do it too?
You get annoyed if you aren’t functioning in the way you think you should.
You're critical if you feel overwhelmed, frozen, procrastinating, emotional…
You're scared if your body isn‘t performing, if your mind is foggy or resistant…
You push yourself to do better, try harder.
But that makes things so much worse.
It‘s like being shouted at when you are overwhelmed.
Not helpful.
Am I right?
Ok, so.
Are you willing to try it differently this month?
If you loved yourself, where in your life would you be more gentle with yourself now?
PS. The Portal of Permission membership is still closed for this month, but you can join the waiting list HERE and I'll let you know as soon as the doors opens again.
