"I don't think fear is a big thing for me" she said to me.

"I don't do high-adrenaline activities, I don't have heavy anxiety and I can't think of a recent time I felt really gripped by fear".

She's telling me this because our theme this month in The Portal of Permission is 'How to Love Yourself in The Grip of Fear' and she's not sure how it applies to her.

I smiled, because fear isn’t always the big, dramatic kind.

Most of the time it’s quieter, sneakier - shaping our choices without us noticing.

That tricky email you put off sending…

The moment you wanted to speak in a meeting but swallowed your words instead…

The way you scroll, or shop, or snack when you’re resisting the thing you said you’d do…

Or the endless loop of worrying about your loved ones, or the state of the world...

Those are all fear.

Not obvious, but still gripping you.

Being driven by fear makes life much heavier and harder.

And pushing or being hard on yourself just makes it worse.

So next time you notice yourself procrastinating, overthinking, being too impulsive, avoiding something, or feeling that knot in your stomach...

Know that Fear has you in it's grip.

And then, instead of whatever you usually do...

Ask yourself,

“If I loved myself, how would I treat myself right now?”

Not what would I DO ...

More, how would I BE ?

How can I be gentle with myself now while I'm afraid?

How can I be kind to me?

What would being patient with myself look like in this moment?

What does loving myself look like when I'm in fear?

That's the beginning of your freedom.

This month inside The Portal of Permission, we’re learning real tools to Love Yourself in the Grip of Fear and you’re so welcome to join us. The doors are now open again.

If Fear is a regular visitor in your life, this is a gentle, supportive space to learn how to deal with it differently. With loving support, in an awesome community.

You deserve to live in permission and love, not in fear.

You can join us HERE .