I was sitting with a client this week, and she was telling me about something that will probably feel very familiar to you.
She had been invited to something - not a big, dramatic situation, just a normal life thing. A dinner, a gathering, something she would usually say yes to without thinking too much about it.
But this time, she said she felt something.
A very clear, very quiet “I don’t really want to go.”
It wasn't loud or urgent. It was just… there.
And then, almost immediately, her head got involved.
“It’s not such a big deal.”
“I should just go.”
“They’ll be disappointed.”
“I’ll look difficult.”
By the time she finished telling me the story, she was already halfway into convincing herself that she should go.
And as she was speaking, I could feel that familiar tenderness I often feel in those moments, because it’s not really about the dinner, is it?
It’s about that moment where you knew something is true for you… and then start moving away from it.
So I asked her, very gently, “What did you feel before all the thoughts came in?”
And she went quiet for a moment.
And then she said, “I felt tired. And I felt like I just wanted to be at home. It actually felt very clear.”
And there it was.
No confusion.
No overthinking.
Clarity.
But the kind that is so easy to override when your nervous system is trying to keep everything smooth, keep everyone happy, keep you safe.
We didn’t rush to a decision.
We didn’t try to get it right.
We just stayed there for a bit.
Letting her feel that she had known.
That she does know.
And I could feel something shift in her - not because she suddenly became someone who always chooses herself, but because she could feel that she had access to herself.
That’s the part I wish more of us remembered more often.
Self-trust doesn’t start when you always follow through on what you know.
It starts when you begin to recognise that you actually knew in the first place.
Inside the Portal this month, we’re working very gently with these kinds of moments - helping you spot them, stay with them, and slowly rebuild that relationship with yourself. If that feels like something you need, you’re very welcome to join us.
If I loved myself, what would I acknowledge that I already know… and not talk myself out of it?
