Dear Friend,
Yesterday I just didn't want to do anything.
Every now and then, for no apparent reason I can find, I have these black days when I don't want to do anything.
I don't want to talk to anyone.
I can't be bothered with what others are going through.
I feel tired, achy and so low and slow in body and mind.
I am hypersensitive to every little thing and as a highly sensitive and very empathic person, it doesn't take much on those black days to tip me over the edge into tears, anger and frustration with life, the universe and everything!
Do you ever feel that way?
The only thing that helps me really get through those days is to completely surrender to them.
I did only what absolutely needed to be done and nothing else, even though there are a whole lot of things calling to me now like this new online course I am in the process of creating.
But I didn't want to do it, I didn't feel like doing it and forcing myself to do it was not going to help me feel better at all!
So, once my essential stuff was done I spent the rest of the day sitting on my couch, played my game for a while on the playstation, read some of my book, watched a bit of Netflix, had a bit of a cry, went for a small walk and was in bed by 8.30pm.
And today, I feel a bit more human, still tired but my brain is working and because it's Friday for me now, I have a few more clients to see today and then my weekend begins.
Would you see that as a wasted day Friend?
In the past, I would have.
I would have judged myself hard for being so lazy, felt disappointed at not "pushing through" and "getting stuff done."
We can be so hard on ourselves, can't we?
Giving yourself permission to accept and surrender to the bad days can bring so much relief because those bad days are just another part of the complex grief of chronic illness.
Those days always slap me in the face that yep, chronic illness is still there, lurking in the background, a big, hidden part of my new life.
Even on the days when I can't take the day to myself because I have commitments that I need to meet and people depending on me, I still allow myself to feel it.
The grief.
The frustration.
The resentment of how much things have changed.
Giving myself that space and letting those feelings out feels so much better and seems to help me move through those black days a little more easily.
So if you are having a black day Friend I want to let you know that I see you.
I se you doing your best and struggling to get through each day to look after your children and not feeling good enough.
I see you fighting to get up in the morning and make it through another day at work, trying to focus through the brain fog.
I see you feeling like a burden because you can't do all of the things that you used to do so easily.
I see you and I want to let you know that you are not alone.
The link to my Facebook support group is in the box at the bottom of this email.
It's a safe space to talk about those black days and find others who know exactly how it feels and get some understanding and support.
And remember Friend, if you do feel stuck and you can't find a way back to happiness on your own, you can always book your FREE 25 minute Discovery Session with me using the link below to see if I can help you find your way back to feeling more peace and joy in your life.
warm wishes
Kerry
P.P.S.
Episode 21 of the EA podcast with my special guest, James Stratford is out now!
James's first experience with autoimmune disease was when he was diagnosed with psoriasis on his scalp and behind his ears at age 14. He remembers his Dad getting mad with him and thinking he wasn't washing his scalp properly and sending him back to shower with some medicated shampoo.
He also remembers the fatigue. James had trouble getting out of bed and getting to school and always felt exhausted. He tried different ointments and creams to help the psoriasis but it always came back. Eventually James was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis at just 20 years old feeling like his life was over and that he would never get better. Find out how Jame's got his life back in this episode.
Have a listen using the link on the blog below or search and subscribe on iTunes, Spotify and most podcast players.
If you loved this episode and feel inspired, please leave us a review.
Want to share your chronic illness story?
Think about being a guest on my podcast!
You need to have chronic illness yourself and feel that your story will help or inspire other people.
If you are interested, hit reply to this email and tell me a little about yourself, your illness and why you want to share your story and if you have any blog posts I can read, please share the link with me.
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