She always had a put-down about my clothes (never designer, almost always from TJ Maxx and Mervyn’s). And my flyaway hair. Also, how skinny I was.
The worst was when she found out my mom was an alcoholic.
It was middle school in the 80’s. And yes, kids at that age…Horrible, no-good, mean you-know-what’s.
I told myself I was “above it”. None of it bothered me. Until the day I lost my collective $%#& and threw a baseball bat at her (during PE).
Regardless of what I wanted to believe, regardless of what I told others, regardless of what I claimed to myself, what she said got under my skin.
And I had let that build for over a year. (Honestly, I can't believe it took an entire year before I snapped.)
Thankfully, I haven't snapped like that since that Spring day (junior high kids aren't exactly the most emotionally stable).
But being human, I have had times when I refused to acknowledge the cost. The cost of not standing up for myself. The cost of not saying what I believed. The cost of not doing what’s hard but (clearly) right.
And each time, I learned (the hard way) not to pretend or ignore it away.
Where might you be ignoring away or pretending that something isn't costing you (when it clearly is)? Get real about it, Friend. And how much it's truly costing you (before it bites back).
XO, Heather | 
