If you watch reruns of your favorite 1950s-era sitcoms, it wouldn’t be uncommon to see married couples (who have children) be shown sleeping in separate beds. Nowadays, it’s not unusual to show two people who’ve just met share a passionate encounter in bed, against bathroom sinks of a restaurant, or in the backseat of a car. These types of physical interactions have become the norm to the point where it’s just not surprising anymore. In fact, we almost expect it.

But is that real life?

When it comes to the topics of Love and Sex in television, movies, music videos, and social media, there is both an unrealistic and unhealthy obsession with very contrasting messages.

What we hear and see about love:
True love is the final destination. Everything in life leads up to that moment of finding “the one.” Love can be quickly fallen into and out of. Love at first sight is natural and normal. Life isn’t complete if you aren’t in love. You have no control over who you love. Love should be all-consuming and magical. My partner bought me a new car because he loves me. It’s easy to say I Love You. It’s difficult to say I Love You.

What we hear and see about Sex:
Sex is special. Sex can be treated like a recreational activity. Sex is on everyone’s minds all the time. Everyone your age is sexually active. Sex is magical and satisfying. Two attractive people will always end up in bed together. The more attractive you are, the more people want to sleep with you. Your body is an object of desire. Hookup culture is normal. You can’t sleep with someone and not develop feelings.

It’s no wonder we’re confused.