This is a very negative cycle.
You don’t work at 100% because you’re thinking about relaxing, and you don’t enjoy your rest because you’re thinking about work.
So the quality of your work drops — and you have no quality of life.
Think about this:
You don’t get the benefits of being lazy, but you aren’t achieving as much as you’d like at work.
Double negative.
That’s not all…
You’re always living in the future.
Looking over the present moment’s shoulder and ignoring it.
You’re waiting for your conditions to finally be perfect.
Unfortunately, they never are.
The sad truth?
If you don’t fix this, your life will go past you.
You won’t experience it, because you’re always waiting for the next thing.
Never right here, right now.
How do I know?
According to studies on deathbed regrets, here are three of the most common things people say before they pass away:
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This checks all three.
If you don’t fix it, they’ll probably be your deathbed regrets too…
Let me say this: I’m not perfect in this department.
I still struggle with this paradox.
I’m not sure it’s possible to eliminate it completely.
Nevertheless, I’ve learned two things that helped me massively.
They will help you too. Keep reading.
1) Realize that anxiety is a part of life, not a problem to be solved.
My whole life I thought that when I was anxious, something was wrong with me.
I desperately tried to eliminate my anxiety.
Until I heard one of my mentors say:
“Anxiety is a feature, not a bug. When you are anxious, it doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It means you are alive.”
In that moment, I finally understood.
Before, I fought anxiety and tried to hide it.
It never worked.
I only felt more anxious.
After hearing that, I decided to change my behavior.
The next time I felt anxious, I allowed myself to be anxious.
I invited anxiety into my life.
The craziest thing?
It lost its power completely.
Turns out that when you try to fight anxiety, you only make it stronger.
When you invite it and accept it, it can’t do anything to you.
You become invincible.
So whenever you feel anxious next time — whether you’re working too hard or not working enough — take in your anxiety instead of pushing it away.
2) Redefine stress.
Most people never define what stress is.
They understand the symptoms:
Your heart beats faster.
Sweating.
That weird feeling in your stomach.
Looping negative scenarios.
When you can’t define a problem, you can’t fix it.
Before you can win with stress, you need to know what it is.
The best definition I’ve learned comes from physics.
When do we say that an object is under stress?
When two forces pull it in opposite directions.
One force pulls down, the other pulls up.
The object is under stress.
Simple.
This is exactly what happens to you.
One part of you wants to work and achieve; the other wants to relax and enjoy.
You are the object under stress here.
You have conflicting desires.
How to overcome it:
Acknowledge the pull.
Be mindful that you’re being pulled in different directions.
Every time you feel stressed, ask: “What two desires do I have?”
Name them. This alone creates relief and clarity.
Make a decision.
I’m serious.
This is what’s holding you back.
You haven’t actually decided what you want in this moment.
That’s why you feel so stressed.
Decide whether you want to work or relax — and accept the consequences.
You can’t have it both ways.
By deciding, you release one desire and you can finally be present.
Everything in life has a price.
When you let your monkey brain decide your life, you pay double and get zero rewards.
So turn it off.
Be intentional.
The key is to decide what you want — and pay the price for it.
Anxiety loves a narrow view. Peace comes when you zoom out.
Stay sharp,
Adrian
