Two years in, I had more confidence.
I started seeing people more objectively.
But I still lacked the courage to say “no” to those who were wrecking my happiness.
I had this customer who was a little bit weird from the beginning.
Let’s call her Angie.
Angie was really judgemental and gossiped about my other customers(her friends) all the time.
She also constantly made remarks that made me feel small and guilty.
I ignored it, telling myself it was worth it to keep her as a client.
I rationalised. I took the blame every time.
Then one day, another customer told me Angie was spreading rumours—that my services were low quality, overpriced, and that I was a fraud.
It felt like someone had shot an arrow straight into my chest.
I poured my life into my customers.
Seven days a week, no private life, bending over backwards to give results.
95% of them were happy. I was proud of that.
But to her… it still wasn’t enough
Here’s where it gets interesting.
At the time, I had a waiting list — 30+ people ready to work with me.
So I made the call: I’d let Angie go and bring on someone new.
Sounds simple, right?
It wasn’t.
Losing a customer felt like death.
I wanted my brand to be the best. I wanted everyone to be happy.
Firing her felt like failure.
Still, I sent her the kindest goodbye text you’ve ever seen.
Wished her well. Closed that chapter.
I thought that was the end of it all.
At least, I thought I did.
Then… my phone buzzed.
This was her exact reply:
“Are you out of your mind?! You are ruining my life. How can you do this to me? Do you want me to fail? I need you. I thought you cared about me but evidently you don’t. This shows what kind of person you are. Don’t say things like that. You still want to work with me. Are we still on for Tuesday? We had an agreement!”
Fucking hell.
Here I was — emotionally held hostage by an energy vampire.
And the worst part?
That’s when it hit me — I’d built my own prison.
And the door had been open the whole time.
Here’s the lesson:
When you don’t want to interact with somebody… you can just ignore them.
Social requirements aren’t real.
Social consequences are.
If you are a people pleaser and are worried about disappointing others, write it down on your mirror.
All the social requirements you have in your head are just things other people put there to control you.
The feeling you have to go to this party.
The feeling you have to call this person back.
The feeling you have to give this person a gift.
The feeling you have to listen and respect people older than you.
The feeling you have to do what this person wants.
You know what I’m talking about.
That guilty feeling you have when you are about to put yourself first?
It’s not proof you’re wrong — it’s proof you’ve been programmed.
These are just bullshit beliefs you’ve been given by other people.
This is your permission.
Feel free to get rid of them and ignore them.
Kill the false obligations before they kill your happiness.
This isn’t about being selfish.
It’s about being intentional — choosing to give love because you want to, not because you’re manipulated into it.
Because here’s the truth:
You will never be at your best if you keep castrating yourself for other people.
And yes — social consequences are real.
Ignore someone, and they might:
Usually when you ignore someone, you will get less interaction with them in the future.
Just ask yourself whether this is something you want.
Think about what will happen later and then make an educated decision.
With Angie, I made my choice.
I ignored her. I cut her out, despite the fear and guilt.
And then I cut out every other client like her.
The result?
I doubled my income in one year, worked 25% less, and had 1000% more life satisfaction.
That’s what happens when you stop living on autopilot like a puppet.
Who’s your Angie?
And what’s it costing you to keep them around?
There’s work to do.
Your dream life won’t build itself.
Adrian
