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The other day I was listening to On Being, with psychologist Ellen Langer as guest, speaking about mindfulness. When she talked about work/life balance, she got my attention.
She said work/life balance is basically a bad idea.
We categorize our life and work, separating them completely. She said we should be aiming for “work/life integration."
Langer added, "[Y]ou should get to the point where you’re treating yourself - whether you’re at work or at play - in basically the same way.”
A light went on.
I’m the same person when writing as when hosting an event, teaching a class, grocery shopping, or getting my hair cut. The idea, then, shouldn’t be to treat all my facets separately but to discover ways to be a whole person, to be myself in whatever I’m doing: to integrate.
That word, “integrate” has the antonym of "disintegrate," falling into pieces rather than becoming whole.
Being a person of integrity means my creativity isn’t separate from who I am or reserved for just one part of my life. And my purpose, as a human being, should be in alignment with all that I do.
This moves me to look at the reasons WHY I create, and instead of getting hot and bothered about failure, back up. Look at the big picture. The whole person.
We become so frustrated with ourselves when we put things “out there” as hard-to-reach, compartmentalized goals rather than integrating our creative goals into the life we already have.
Compartmentalized goal: I will write 15 pages of my novel this week.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. I can write those pages and go on to my other tasks if I have “work/life balance.”
But if I have work-life integrity, I understand my purpose behind what I’m doing at any given moment. For example, I'm writing my novel so I can tell a story that entertains and informs, so that ultimately I can contribute to the world.
If my writing time is cut short by my daughter visiting, for example, and I end up telling her a story that entertains and informs, I'm on track. I can bring my whole self and creativity into this storytelling moment. I’m living in integrity.
Integrated purpose: I will bring my notebook to the pool and jot down ideas for Chapter 6 while my son is in swimming lessons.
When you acknowledge and allow your creativity and purpose to infuse everything you do, frustration dissolves. No need to make things hard.
At the same time, you recognize your gifts and drives as a creator are a huge part of your life and you refuse to let them be sidelined.
Here’s one way I brought integrity into work and life last week. I’d love to hear what you're creating, and what's working and not working. Meanwhile, enjoy summer!
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Some highlights of the summer . . .
This Sunday, August 3 at 10:30 at the Willamette Writers Conference, I'll be presenting the workshop, "Slashing Procrastination."
Wednesday, July 30 at 6 pm, I'll be hosting our popular Wildfire Wednesday at Cascade Park Library. Open mic! Your yummy dishes! Great writing and conversation.
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Need a story prompt?
- Visit the Bookish board for wild and inspiring images.
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August 9, 9:30-12:30
Stories in the Body
Yoga and Creative writing
with co-teacher
Jenna Abernathy
August 1-3
Willamette Writers Workshop
Lloyd Center Double Tree
Stay tuned for a brand new, inspiring virtual class coming this fall!
Master morning and evening classes are meeting in August
Check out classes and events here.
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