Hi Friend,
This is your weekly edition of The Friday Five Hundred, which is a slice of my writerly life packaged in nuggets of Present, Past and Future in five hundred words or less. This edition is sent to you very late on the weekend and I'll let you know why in a little bit.
Present: The month of Ramadan is over and we celebrated a month long duration of fasting on May 13th with Eid al Fitr. As I got the kids and myself ready in our new clothes, we heard something shatter. Upon investigation, we found that one of our Ramadan light up decor fell and broke. I was amazed at the timing. Just as Ramadan left, the acrylic Ramadan sign decided to fall and bid us adieu. It’s not lost on me that the the word fitr in Eid al fitr literally means to break.
Fitr in Arabic comes from the root word fa-tay-ra. The following is the meaning stated in the Quranic root dictionary:
Fa-Tay-Ra = to create out of nothing, cleave/split/crack/break, be broken into pieces, cleave asunder, begin to create.
The past few days have been challenging to say the least. With bombings and attacks in Al Aqsa Mosque and upon civilians in Palestine, the rising numbers of deaths related to covid in India, and a bombing in Afghanistan targeting young school girls, I felt my heart break into a million pieces as I prayed and cried. It did not seem right to celebrate the end of Ramadan. How can I when people around the world are suffering?
Reflecting on the state of the world, I recalled wise words from a sweet woman I had the pleasure of knowing when my first daughter was admitted to NICU fighting for her life. She said, “It’s a Mercy from God that all of us don’t face grief and sadness at the same time. Perhaps we can lighten the load of those suffering.”
How can we possibly bring light and lift those who are suffering when we become paralyzed in our emotions with our inability to directly help them? For this reason, we must release the emotions by allowing ourselves to feel them. Grief and happiness are two sides of the same coin. To know one is to know the other. To grieve is to honor that which is lost and shattered…that which once was. To celebrate is to honor that which has also passed and as a result leads to a new creation. We can’t create if we withhold these emotions and keep them stagnant laying dormant within us. If our vessel is filled with only grief and pain, we become paralyzed and unable to proceed. Meanwhile, if we obsess over only running after happy moments, we can’t comprehend the depths of real joy.
There’s a need to breath in and breath out. It’s an action of taking it all in and releasing. Let the emotions move through you just as you breath. When the tragic events of the world seem to break you, allow the light to filter in through the cracks. In the famous words of Leonard Cohen: "Ring the bells that still can ring/Forget your perfect offering. There's a crack, a crack in everything/That's how the light gets in".
I have written and re-written this weekly email thinking about if my words matter in the grand scheme of all the pain and suffering. I inflicted silence upon myself but now I'm going to take my own advice and offer my imperfect offering to you.
Future: I am going to experience the emotions and let them move me to take responsible action. That responsible action consists of educating myself on issues plaguing the world, praying for the oppressed, and donating to causes that help humanity. I'm sending love to the people of Palestine, India, Afghanistan and anyone who is hurting.
Thank you for reading dear reader. I'll be back on Friday. Until then please take care of yourself and remember to breath and allow yourself to feel the emotions.
With lots of love,
Sana Fayyaz
