I broke a rule

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Subject: I broke a rule

Hi Friends,

This is your weekly edition of The Friday Five Hundred delivered on a Saturday. Whoops! Did you tune in to the magnificent lunar eclipse last night? It brought to my awareness a cycle of completion and a chance to explore letting go of some past ideas that don't serve me anymore like holding onto strict rules that don't make sense.

Here is this week's personal essay entitled When I Broke the Law.

I’m a rule follower. I don’t break them. Here’s the world’s smallest little violin playing the saddest song for my inner quiet rebel.

Last week, a dear College time friend from Pakistan came on a brief visit. Her visit reminded me how fun it is to be open to the present moment and to be spontaneous. That’s how we planned our day…notice how I’m still planning spontaneity. On a whim, I asked if she’d like to catch the sunset on the beach. She agreed and we drove off to the beach.

Driving around, I noticed that all paths that led to the beach were closed. Of course, they were closed. It’s not summer and I do remember a sign somewhere stating, “Beach closes at dusk”. It was beyond sunset yet I was determined to experience moonlight on the beach.

After much observation, my friend pointed out a slightly open pathway. Making a u-turn, I was able to get in and found ample parking space. There were two other cars besides mine, which somewhat comforted me knowing others were also breaking a rule.

My friend and I walked side by side on the boardwalk catching each other up on each other’s lives. The farther along we walked, the lights started to dim making the moon and stars more apparent and we were gifted with this view.

When we were satisfied, we walked back to my car. We were the only ones left in the parking lot and the lights had completely gone out.

Driving towards various exits, we found barricades and chains. They were serious about no beach entrance after sunset.

My friend suggested that she’ll move the barricade. “They are made of plastic after all,” she said. She advised me to turn down my car lights.

At this point, I asked, “Why? Are we breaking a rule?” It got real at that point.

My friend came back and revealed that the barricades couldn’t be moved and we needed to find another way. She also assured me that this reminds her of being lost in some random fields in Lahore from which she had always found a way out. That strengthened me right when I imagined my very clean driver’s license being marred by points. What would be the consequence of loitering a beach after hours? I didn’t know and I didn’t want to find out.

“As long as you have enough gas, we’ll be fine.” My friend assured me.

I looked at my flickering second to the last bar on the fuel gauge. Tensions escalated.

After lots of mindless driving around in the parking lot, my friend noted, “You know it’s cute you are still driving within the lines of the parking lot even when there’s no car around.”

I shook my head, “I know. I can’t break rules.” Yet here I was loitering a beach after hours possibly trespassing.

In utter darkness, we spotted a flicker of light and drove towards it. There was a barricade with a slight opening just enough for us to pass through. As we squeezed through and onto the open roads, a sense of relief washed over us as we rejoiced in a collective, “Yay” and “Woohoo”. This is what Thelma and Louise must have felt when they drove off the cliff. What a thrill to be an outlaw in our very own controlled not hurting another human way!

Thank you for reading. I hope this brought some light to your day. As we near the end of the year post a lunar eclipse, what are you willing to let go of to make space for more of you?

Love,

Sana Fayyaz

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Subject: I broke a rule