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"The Spirit of St. Patrick's Day"
(Written by Sean, one of a couple Irish Ninjas here at SKD, and it was too good not to share.)
I always start St Patrick’s day with a 7 course meal: 5 fingers of Jameson, a Guinness, and some corned beef. Being 100% Irish, I know I can outdrink everyone on St Patrick’s day (aka: Drinker's Amateur hour), where everyone thinks they are plank owners on the SKD drinking team (I'm the team Captain) but they can’t make it through to Day 2, even with an IV and O2.
As mentioned, I’m Irish, and in 2005 I had just returned from Iraq. I met a fine lady at a local bar in NY and impressed her with my self deprecating humor, huge liver, and underwhelming manhood. I had been deployed for a while so money was of no concern. We had a lovely night where I romanced her, than bamboozled her back to my place. We had a lovely 3 mins and 47 seconds of it and passed out. I had whiskey dick so I lasted twice as long as usual.
A few weeks later and I get the call... the “You owe me tricare for life call”. I did what any man that knocked up a one night stand would do and said “OK. I need 24 hours to think and I will call you tomorrow around this time.” I then went to the liquor store to buy some Jameson but they were out so I bought Bushmills and proceeded to drink the whole bottle.
At about 2 am I called my Father and explained everything. “Dad, Jennifer Garner (named changed for anonymity, but I will not confirm or deny it wasn’t her), thinks she is pregnant. I drank a bottle of Bushmills and I don’t know what to do.” I could hear a long exhale on his side, expecting the worst, I clenched my teeth. My Dad exclaimed “You drank Bushmills?!?! You will drink Jameson’s and nothing else.” He hung up.
So the moral of this story is don’t answer calls from one night stands (let that shit go to voicemail), drink Jameson’s, and buy some sweet gear from SKD at 10% off and make sure you get some hydration stuff too- This Sunday your hangover may kill you.
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