90 Day Kink Mini Challenge - Self-Love (Masturbation!)
Some of the participants in the 90 day kink challenge have orgasms as part of their goal--either to achieve orgasm with their partner (vs alone) or just to achieve one, period. Some are playing with orgasm denial.
Masturbation plays a healthy role in understanding, controlling or mastering (D/s pun totally intended) orgasms.
For me, orgasm has nothing to do with how I'm being touched or where. Penetration isn't important, neither is clitoral stimulation. You could give me the world's most clever and powerful vibrator and it wouldn't do anything for me if my head space wasn't there.
I was born kinked. As a child I put myself to sleep every night--seriously, every freakin' night from as young as I can remember, fingering myself and fantasizing about being dominated. Even now, I masturbate every morning when I first wake up (TMI? sorry--I love it!) So for me, the only key for an orgasm is to invoke (either through the fantasy in my head or have my partner invoke it) a dominant/submissive scenario.
Knowing and accepting what winds your crank is so important. For many years, I thought my interests were embarrassing so I didn't share them with a partner. And so sex was...yeah. Not as good as it could've been.
This week, the mini-challenge is to indulge in self-love. Allow yourself to fantasize while you touch and explore. If you need help getting started, try Tumblr, spankingtube, xhamster or a kinky book (my latest alien punishment book is an overnight success on amazon).
If you're not allowed to orgasm without a partner's permission, well this will be some delicious edging for you. If you haven't given control of your orgasms to your partner, rack them up! Let yourself go and explore without shame or hindrances. We'll be having a real-time discussion about everything masturbation on Wednesday evening for Wanton Wednesday. Because it's a private Facebook event (we don't want it showing up on anyone's walls), you have to be a member of Renee's Romper Room (my reading group) in order to attend. I hope you'll come and share! Spankin' it,
Renee
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