I've always been a feminist. I've also always been a submissive--I just didn't always recognize it for what it was--a fetish, not a personality flaw.

Growing up, male authority made my knees go weak. My deepest fantasies involved me submitting to a man. Fortunately I met and married a man who was all alpha male in personality, but also perfectly politically correct--the only combination that would've worked for me!

As I made my way up the corporate ladder, I finally put it together that the fantasies I had of being dominated might be the reason I couldn't speak up for myself with the men at work. This troubled me. I had a lot of shame around my repressed desires.

It was not until I began writing BDSM and spanking fiction that it seemed there was a useful outlet for them. With my first publication I came out of the closet with my wonderful alpha husband and I began to detangle the social politics of feminism from the sexual impulses to be dominated.

And what do you know? The more I played at being submissive in the bedroom, the more assertive I became out of it. I'm still mulling over the irony that now that I'm self-actualized as a submissive, I am no longer submissive to men-- only to the one I have chosen to submit to.

Role play is amazing for living out fantasies. So is writing fiction. I feel fortunate to have an outlet to express all my submissive desires.

Love and blindfolds,

Renee

P.S. -I have a secret Facebook group where we discuss things like this. If you'd like to join us, friend me on FB (it's a hoop FB makes me jump through) then send me a message to add you. If you don't hear back right away, shoot me an email--sometimes I miss FB messages.