Personally, as I matured, I was a bit of verbal scrapper at our family get-togethers. As a result, I imagine my parents were as dubious about my arrival at the holidays as I was about being with them.

Before I started my deep spiritual work, I assumed the problems were entirely on their shoulders. But as I started looking inward, I saw my own role in our family’s dysfunction. 

And that’s when it all turned around.

My tendency to argue and blame was dysfunctional energy that added a lot of unnecessary tension to our gatherings.

Eventually, I figured out how to shift the dysfunctional tendencies inside of me, and now I’m happy to say, I get along with all my family members, and have for decades.

For those of us committed to bringing greater consciousness into our lives and our families…

…the key is in recognizing that those patterns are learned patterns that have been going on for generations. When you know how to lovingly shift your own role in the dynamics, the issues cease to be issues. 

You no longer feel like you have to fight them (like I did), stay away from them, or try to please them. You are Holding space for greater consciousness, even in the midst of the dysfunction. It’s like being in the still center of a tornado. 

And your presence contributes to calming the energy for everyone.

As you release the dysfunctional patterns you inherited through your family, you are truly free to live the life of your choosing.