Hey Friend, something keeps popping up in my life lately that I want to share with you.
It seems to be a blind spot for most people, including coaches, managers (and spouses) and keeps people experiencing failure MUCH more often than necessary.
I'm writing some articles and blog posts on the topic and I'd LOVE your feedback (if that feels comfortable to you). 🙂
The topic is personality styles.
Each style learns, grows and needs things in a different (sometimes opposite) way than the other styles. One size fits all doesn't apply here.
Let's say you are in a coaching program for business or mindset or relationships.
The coach gives suggestions and next steps.
Seems fine so far.
Here's the deal...
What if the instruction you receive are completely out of your comfort zone and to even think about doing it sends you into stress and anxiety?
There's a difference between the discomfort of something new and the discomfort of something that's wrong for you.
Sometimes, the problem is more comfortable than the solution so it's less "painful" to stay stuck.
Consider this...
Your coach is analytical and loves numbers and spreadsheets and you are the opposite of that (welcome to my world, I'm right in here keeping you company).
What that coach suggests may indeed be what you need and ultimately want to accomplish but your personality style is different from his or hers and you just can't do it.
Either it stresses you out too much or your brain doesn't work that way because you're not analytical.
(Spreadsheets used to send me into a cold sweat! I had to learn them in a way that worked with my personality style and now they are almost fun. I said ALMOST.) 😄
How about mindset coaching? Maybe you are amiable style where other peoples' opinions really do matter to you but your coach is a driver style and says not to worry about what other people think.
That is literally impossible for you. It's wrong advice for your style... for the way you're wired. And you are wired PERFECTLY. 🦋
A coach who understands your core personality style can direct you to accomplish what you came to them for within the context of YOUR style.
Recently, I was on a group zoom with a mindset coach and I noticed a percentage of people really liked her style of coaching.
It included cursing and making points "aggressively" - COMPLETELY OPPOSITE of my coaching style.
I could literally feel the OTHER people (with different personality styles) cringing at her suggestions!
They thought what she was saying must be right because she was the coach.
Yet so many were already feeling like there must be something wrong with them because it was so utterly uncomfortable to even consider what she was telling them to do!
And the reason many were ON the call was that they thought there was something wrong with them because they were comparing themselves to others.
Do you see where I'm going here?
I wanted to virtually hug each one and bring them over to the bright side (Positive Women Rock) where I could get them results while staying comfortable in their own style.
And what about relationships? Partners asking for behavior the other person just isn't wired for.
Imagine the happiness and peace of mind if both people understood each other's personality styles and how to make progress together with both feeling comfortable?
That's relationship magic right there! 💖
Friend, if you're game, here's what I'd appreciate your feedback on:
Have you received guidance that felt so uncomfortable you didn't continue?
How did you feel after that happened?
Did you seek out someone else to guide you to the results you were looking for?
You can just reply to this email and I'll be the only one to see your answers and will keep them confidential.
Enjoy your day in whatever way aligns with your personality style! 😉
You ROCK!
Kelly
P.S. If you haven't gotten my "Rockin' Your Style For Self-Love Success" freebie, you can grab it HERE. It's a 1-page pdf + 12 min empowering video.
