For most of my adult life, I have believed that respecting an individual’s freedom should be the first goal of society. It seems so straightforward. All people should be able to do what they want, as long as what they want doesn’t hurt someone else. Simple, right?

Then I had kids, and suddenly it didn’t seem so simple.

The idea of “live and let live,” which I thought I could apply to every situation, didn’t hold up. It seemed like my children were within their rights to demand more of me.

Despite what is often called a “right” in the United States, true rights can exist only in the negative. They describe an individual’s state in nature before anyone has acted on that individual. To preserve rights among adults, you must NOT act: not kill, not steal, not destroy.

But when it came to my children, I had a legal obligation — and I felt a moral obligation — to do more for my newborn babies than leave them alone. It definitely seemed like they had positive rights — to food, shelter, and comfort — and that I had the obligation to provide them.