| Give your child a holiday outing heads-up.
One trouble spot for kids with ADHD is feeling unprepared for new situations. But talking through what your child can expect during a shopping trip or party can help. Discuss
things like timelines (“We’ll be there for about an hour”) and outfits
(“You don’t need to dress up, but please no gym clothes”). And make sure
to clearly state your expectations (“Please no headphones once we get out of the car”). Discuss the “house rules” of wherever you go.
Maybe it’s OK for your
child to roughhouse at home. But the family hosting a
holiday party may not want the cushions to be pulled off their
rec room couches. Likewise, your house of worship may be OK with kids
socializing in the community room during services. But that might not
fly at the one you’re visiting with extended family. Learn the rules of
wherever you’re headed, and prepare your child. Check in with your child at events.
Before you go to an event together, agree on a hand signal (like touching their earlobe) that your child can use as a signal that things aren’t going well. If they have trouble with hand signals,
try a different kind of check-in, such as a light pat on the shoulder to
ask if they're OK. This simple reassurance gives them a way to let you
know when they've had enough or needs a break. And that can help keep
behavior issues at bay. Find an escape space.
Whether you’re headed to holiday worship services or a gathering with friends, it can be helpful to have a safe “escape
space” in case your child feels antsy. Once you arrive, locate a spot
where your child has permission to retreat to, like a quiet chair in the
corner, another room or even the church playground.
Stash entertainment for events.
If your child gets
bored easily or if there won’t be many guests who will interest them,
bring some fun with you. Pack games and activities to keep them
entertained. Include quiet, solitary items (books, crayons), devices
with headphones, or simple card games they can play with another child.
If they tend to get hyperactive when bored, bring a ball she can kick around outside. Or plan a group activity for during the party. (Just get the host’s agreement first.) Give your child a job.
It can be helpful for
some kids with ADHD to have a task to focus on during a holiday
gathering. Ask your child what they might like to do to contribute. For
example, if you’re hosting a New Year’s brunch, you can assign them to
take pictures throughout the morning or entertain younger guests in a
nearby room. And of course, let them know ahead of time that it’s OK to
peel away and spend time by themselves if needed. Shop wisely—or online.
If your child with ADHD has trouble with self-control, a trip to the mall at this time of year could lead to behavior
problems. All the merchandising and hype can lead to extra pestering for
a toy or a holiday treat. When shopping with your child, create and
stick to lists. And if your child tends to get distracted by all the
items and people in crowded stores, think about buying gifts and even
groceries online. Keep a stocked “comfort kit” in the car.
Does your child have trouble managing emotions or waiting until they're home to get the things they feel they need? If
so, pack a small bag with comfort items that might stave off a tantrum or meltdown and keep it in your trunk throughout the season. Include things like
healthy snacks, a bottle of water and even comfortable clothes that can
double as pajamas in a pinch. Give small, immediate rewards.
In the days and weeks leading up to the holidays, it may be tempting to use your child's presents
as a bargaining chip. Try to avoid saying things like, “Be good or
Santa will find out!” It can be more effective to offer your child small
short-term rewards. For example, you might say, “If we can work together to clean the house
this morning, we’ll pick out a new ornament or do something special this afternoon.” Praise your child’s good behavior.
When your child is
behaving well during a holiday event, show them you notice. You can lean
over and whisper, “You’re doing great at listening to other people
without interrupting. I’m proud of you.” Recognition and praise mean a lot to kids with learning and attention issues like ADHD. Keep Medications On Schedule. While careful planning and adjusting your own expectations can help you and your child avoid trouble spots, keeping their medications going will help keep their symptoms managed. Don't skip, the disorders don't take breaks and you shouldn't either.
Holidays are supposed to be fun. But for kids with social skills issues, they can pose challenges and create stress. Use these simple tips to help your child successfully navigate this very social season.
A new year is upon us. With it come new challenges—and new opportunities for happiness and success for you and your child.
May your holidays be merry and bright, filled with joy and delight. Have a wonderful time, be safe and happy. May the only thing melting down be the marshmallows
in your hot chocolate!
Don't let your SNAP run low otherwise, instead of cheerfully saying Ho Ho Ho, you'll be saying NO NO NO and we don't want that!
Keep the attitudes good so the kids will behave as they should.
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