A client told me about a woman at work.

“She’s always emotional,” she said.
“Always needing reassurance. Always needing something.”

Then she paused.

“I know I sound unkind. But honestly… it’s just too much.”

We sat with that for a moment.

Then I asked her softly,
“Is there any part of you that might relate to this woman, even a little bit?”

She went quiet.
And then she said,
“…Maybe. But I’ve learned to hide it better.”

Here’s the thing.

Most of us have been trained to disconnect from our needs.
We’re told they’re inconvenient.
Embarrassing.
Too much.

So instead of expressing them, we learn to mask them.
We suppress what we need, we apologise for needing things, we over-function to make up for it....
Then after we've exhausted ourselves we feel resentful.
We shut down and withdraw...

Because our needs are not being met.

But we don't express that, no...

Instead, we secretly judge others who don’t hide their needs as well as we do.

But your needs are not the problem.
They’re not shameful.
They’re human.

It’s hiding them that hurts us.

Pretending you don't have them is a problem.

And it causes MANY more problems for you because if your needs are not being met, you're not going to be ok.

None of us can be ok if our needs are not met.

Needs like love, attention, acknowledgment, rest, laughter, ease...

Those are real, legitimate needs we all have.

So this week, I want to offer a small invitation:

Tell yourself the truth about one need.

Not all of them.
Not loudly.
Just one small, honest moment of letting yourself matter.

You can ask,

• What do I need right now that I’m afraid is “too much”?

• What would change if I trusted that this need deserves care, not shame?

If you loved yourself, what need would you stop hiding today?

PS. The theme inside The Portal this month is all about loving yourself in your needs and feelings - and this letter is a small way to bring you into the rhythm with us. The doors are closed at the moment, but if you think you might want to join next time, you can add your name to the waitlist HERE and I’ll let you know when they open.