Someone asked me this question:
"How can I express myself instead of keeping quiet, or backing down, and feeling like I let myself down again?"
This is such an important question.
Whether or not you let yourself speak out about something comes down to your own self-worth and giving yourself permission to exist.
So let’s speak to that.
When you’ve learned - often from a young age - that your safety, love, or belonging depends on being quiet, agreeable, or pleasing, expressing yourself can feel dangerous.
Even though you're an adult now, those old fears still live in your nervous system.
So first, please know this:
You are not weak for going quiet.
You are wise.
You learned to survive.
But now, you get to ask: Is this still serving me?
Expressing yourself isn’t about being loud, forceful, or always having the “right” words.
It’s about honouring your truth - and letting yourself matter.
You might start with a whisper...
A hand on your heart...
A breath...
A journal page...
You might say to yourself:
"I matter. What I feel matters. What I want matters."
And then when the moment comes - that rising feeling of wanting to speak but feeling afraid - pause.
Breathe.
Ask yourself:
If I loved myself, what would I choose to say or do right now?
Maybe you choose to speak. Maybe you choose not to - but this time you stay with yourself, and you don’t shame or abandon yourself for it.
That’s also progress.
Over time, as your self-trust grows, so will your voice.
You’ll begin to speak up not to prove anything, but because it’s simply who you are.
So if you’ve backed down or stayed silent, don’t beat yourself up.
Just use it as information.
Ask:
What was I afraid would happen if I spoke up?
What did I need in that moment?
How can I honour myself next time - even a little?
And remember:
Speaking up is not one big act. It’s a daily practice of turning toward yourself with love and letting that love ripple outward.
You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to say what’s true for you.
You are allowed to begin again, as many times as you need.
If you loved yourself, where would you let yourself speak out differently now?
