Years ago in my mid 20’s, I was on the road all day every day working for Nabisco as a sales manager, with good pay, a company car and expense account. I never really enjoyed sales, but it was a good company and I enjoyed the benefits of the job and the people I worked with, plus that my office was in my home even way back then in the 80’s.
BUT THERE WAS A PROBLEM
As time went on I developed an issue where I would regularly start falling asleep at the wheel. It was really scary because the nature of my job involved a lot of driving for regional accounts. I didn’t want to jeopardize my job — nor my life or that of others.
SLEEP TEST
After a while of struggling I went through a sleep assessment where I slept in a hospital annex bedroom one night hooked up to monitors where they tested my sleep. There were nodes attached to my head, some of which pulled out my hair when removed. The room was equipped with cameras in the ceiling so they could record and watch me during sleep.
Nothing really came of that… nothing pinpointing poor nightly sleep issues that might be causing the falling asleep at the wheel issue.
SNACKING FOR SURVIVAL
During road trips I started munching on snacks while driving because at least I wasn’t falling asleep while eating. Now that wouldn’t have been so bad if I had chosen healthy snacks like crudites instead of things like chips or M&M Peanuts.
So I started gaining weight and was miserably uncomfortable with myself and in my body. My mom has struggled with weight all her life and I have her genetics, so packing on the pounds was always vastly easier then releasing them.
WONKY PSYCHOLOGIST
I even made an appointment with a psychologist/hypnotist, which turned out badly, with him swearing at me to try to “break me” and get me to react to “reveal” hidden issues, instead of my usual calm and reflective demeanor during our visits. I never went back.
I knew I didn’t have any suppressed or hidden psychological issues and have a pretty good understanding of my own psychology. This wasn’t psychological, it was physiological, but I thought he might be able to help through hypnosis. But due to his “tactics”, we never got to that and I didn’t try another one.
WHAT I LEARNED ON OPRAH
Then one day, long before social media, I saw an Oprah show about bulimia. That’s when and where I learned how to be bulimic. If I had never seen such a show, I might never have become bulimic for those approximately 10 years from around age 22-32.
It gave me an idea that I probably never would’ve thought of on my own, and I used it to my detriment.
It wasn't about the information but about how I used it, for that same show might have helped many others.
KARMA CATCHES UP WITH US
While there were many wonderful things in those years, there was the blight and shame and malady of bulimia hiding in the shadows of everything. I had grown addicted to being able to binge and then purge so the penalty of the binge didn’t seem so bad.
But it is bad. Eating disorders like bulimia compromise short and long term health in many ways, including bone density, dental health and nutritional deficits. And excess weight is still an issue for any sugars consumed enter the bloodstream quickly and convert to fat.
It also short-circuited my appetite and satiety hormones, ghrelin and leptin.
Even to this day, 30 years later, the ghrelin appetite hormone remains hyperactive urging me to eat while the leptin satiety hormone doesn’t kick in to signal to me that I should be full or satisfied. So I have to consciously stop and recognize I’ve eaten enough even though I’d like to keep on going.
SELF DIAGNOSIS
I never got a diagnosis from a medical professional as to the falling asleep problem. If I had continued down the path of medical appointments, chances are it might have been discovered at some point.
But after I got married (at age 29), and left that job after a couple more years to start a business with my husband. So while the problem wasn’t yet resolved, it wasn’t a daily challenge as I was no longer on the road most of the week and for long stretches of time.
Eventually I figured it out.
I tend to be an energetic on-the-go kind of person. But when not in motion, the sleepiness kicks in. Turns out it’s low blood pressure. So energetic yet with low blood pressure, it’s like it’s all or nothing… high gear or no gear, especially if sitting.
That’s it… just low pulse, low blood pressure, so when not up and active and keeping the circulatory system going, the body says it’s time to sleep.
Turns out that’s another thing I inherited from my mother’s biology.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY SO IT CAN TAKE CARE OF YOU
If you’re struggling with addictions, I get it. Truly.
AND, you can rise above it.
It’s not easy, but my commitment to my body is to take care of it.
Take care of your body and it will take care of you.
Aging doesn't have to me illness and disability.
