WORK AND WIN
The Hidden Benefits of Housework for Kids
At our recent homeschool seminar in Cape Town the topic of chores for kids came up and we chatted about some of the hidden benefits of requiring children to do unpaid work in the home.
Whether or not you have hired help or can do everything to your own standards yourself, it’s a good idea to give children daily responsibilities in the home, for which there is no reward except the satisfaction of a job well done.
Most of us, moms especially, think of training our children to do chores, so that they can learn to help us in the home and lighten our own loads, but there is much more to it than this practical benefit.
We may also think it is beneficial to children to learn to help as they develop practical life skills, which are necessary for them to be able to care for themselves and their families in their own homes one day.
These two benefits are definitely valid, but there are more valuable benefits than these.
By requiring children to perform the same household task on a daily basis, you are conveying a host of unspoken messages to your child, which will develop his/her overall development.
You are sending the following messages to your child, messages which you should also reinforce verbally as often as you can remember:
1. I believe in you and you have the ability to perform this task – that’s conveying a sense of competency to the child. This in turn develops a sense of “I can” and self-confidence and self-reliance in a child. The child who believes he ‘can do’ will be more inclined to try new things, to take risks later in life, to develop a healthy independence and take responsibility for himself. He is likely to try to tackle and overcome problems and persevere through difficulties because he believes that he can overcome!
2. I trust you to be responsible and to do the task that you have been allocated. This helps a child to believe that she is trust-worthy and acceptable to others and this will in turn help her to find herself acceptable to herself – thus developing a sense of worthiness. She may decide, “I like myself and I respect myself. I am good enough, capable and worthy of being loved.”
3. You belong to this family (no matter how big or small the family), you are part of the team and you have a role to play - that’s conveying a sense of belonging. Knowing that you belong and are appreciated, valued and loved by others, gives a child security.
4. You are a helper and you are able to serve others – that contributes to a positive identity and also contributes to a sense of worthiness in a child. It also reduces the levels of self-centredness, which seem to be inbuilt into all of us: Children learn that “the world does not revolve around me and my needs, but I need to serve others and attend to the needs of others in my home too.”As children mature, this sense of charitable service may extend to those who are needy in the greater community too.
Worthiness, competency and belonging are regarded my many as the three pillars of a healthy self-esteem. Without all three in generous quantities, a person may be a bit ‘off-balance’ and develop unhealthy patterns of behaviour to compensate for the lack they unconsciously feel deep inside.
As homeschoolers we are pretty good at pursuing activities that help our children develop competency, but some parents need to work harder at conveying worthiness and belonging.
Requiring children to work and serve unselfishly in the home is one effective way of helping them to develop a healthy self-image.
