This week's Quantum Alchemy Radio Show is about "The Best Tips On How To Negotiate Difficult Relationships" so I thought it would be helpful to have a little astrological information that we can bear in mind as we listen! (click HERE to sign up for details of LIVE shows, archives and downloads).

The truth is that there's really no such thing as 'difficult people'. We experience one another differently depending upon our own perception and energetic predispositions. While a certain person might feel 'difficult' to us, they could equally feel easy to someone else. In astrology there are a number of ways to compare charts and see whether the energies involved will flow well together, or be more challenging, and one of the easiest yet most effective is to simply look at the Sun and Moon signs!

If you know someone's Sun and Moon sign you will know a great deal about how that person sees the world and interacts with others. The Sun tells us how we flow our life force energy and what makes us feel most 'alive', while the Moon shows our early childhood conditioning, instinctive responses, how we react and respond in relation to others, where we feel emotionally secure (or not) and how we experience and express emotional intelligence. According to Esoteric Astrology, it may even indicate our most recent past life.

Depending upon the sign, element and modality (the 'mode' or way the energy flows i.e. cardinal, fixed or mutable) you can tell so much about whether a person will be perceived as constant and reliable, or changeable, adaptable and possibly even seen as unreliable by others. Yesterday I had a conversation with a couple who were telling me that he is very different at work than he is at home. With Aries Sun, at work he is seen as an inspiring and respected leader, with a flair for organization, delegation and effective management. They both agreed he's not like that at home. Meanwhile they agreed that she is the 'same' everywhere, at home or at work. She has Sun in Scorpio. We can see just from their Sun signs why that might be the case.

Think of a tree. The first green shoot that fights it's way purposefully through the rocks and the earth towards the light of day, is driven by cardinal energy: the energy of creation, evolution and new beginnings. Cardinal energy is a driving force that pushes life onwards and upwards.

Now think of the trunk of the tree. That is fixed energy: the energy of a placeholder, containing and holding the energy within a fixed form or structure. It will stabilize the tree within a structure for the duration of it's life so it can fulfil it's purpose.

Now think of the end of the life cycle when the tree dies. The leaves die and drop off, the trunk will eventually break down, and the matter will decompose and transform into compost. This breaking down, changing and dissolving of form is mutable energy. The energy can then be re-used (in the form of cardinal energy) once again for the beginning of a new life-cycle.


So in the example of our couple: Aries is the pioneering, innovative, and outgoing cardinal fire sign. Cardinal energy moves forward, initiates change, brings new ideas, enthusiasm and new ways of doing things. You can see how cardinal energy would move out into the world to initiate change. Mars (Aries ruling planet) 'falls' in Cancer (the sign of the home), which means the planet's nature is restricted and our responses to the energy can become limited. This makes sense: Aries' natural territory is out in the world, carving a place for himself - he is not naturally 'at home' when he's at home!

In contrast, Scorpio is the fixed water sign. As the fixed water sign it is Scorpio's job to bring 'stability' (fixed energy) to emotions (all the water signs are mastering emotions). So it makes perfect sense that whether she is at home or at work, if she has stabilized her emotional world, she doesn't experience herself as being 'different' in any way. Fixed energy!

So we can see how, with just a basic understanding of the signs, elements, and modalities, we can tell so much about a person even just from their Sun signs.

If you experience difficult and challenging relationships, look at your Sun and Moon signs (especially the Moon). First of all are they in compatible elements? Air and Fire love being together, as do Earth and Water. Fire and Water can be challenging, as can Earth and Air. Fire can make the water boil, and water can put the fire out! Next look at the modalities, cardinal energy often 'bumps up against' or feels frustrated by fixed energy which, by nature, wants to confine the energy within a structure. Mutable energy can often 'dissolve' the stubbornness and limitation that fixed signs present and free up the energy! Mutable energy often lacks the direction and single-pointed focus that cardinal energy brings.

There are no hard and fast rules in this area. Compatible elements and modalities can make for an easy relationship, but that can often reinforce limiting behaviors at personality level that keep us stuck in past conditioning and don't lead us to greater soul awareness. Often it's life's challenges that call us up to the highest of who we are. If you have signs in incompatible elements and challenging modalities, it doesn't mean you can't have a great relationship. It just means that you might have to work a bit harder at understanding how the other person operates, because their natural energy flow is so different from yours and, as a result, their experience and perception of the world will be different. With openness and understanding you can still make it work.

Don't forget to tune in to Quantum Alchemy Radio this week for "The Best Tips On How To Negotiate Difficult Relationships". Sign up for details of LIVE shows, archives and downloads.

See you next time, and in the meantime...
happy exploring!

Best Wishes,

Ruth