Hello Friend,

Tuesday was National Bean Day, which sounded innocent enough. I mean… beans. Who gets into trouble with beans?

Well. Us.

Apparently we do.

Since we had a couple of classes in the shop, I thought I’d be festive and give everyone a cute little container of jelly beans. A small sugar boost. A happy little nod to the holiday. A harmless treat.

I passed them out like I was the Jelly Bean Fairy.

People smiled. Spirits lifted. The room grew brighter.

I thought, Wow, Donna, look at you — spreading joy and productivity through miniature candy.

Fast-forward to the end of class, and a couple of students were wandering the store, shopping and snacking. I overhear one saying, “This was a great idea!” and I’m mentally awarding myself Favorite Person of the Year.

And then… the beans began their reign of chaos.

One student reached in for a jelly bean, popped it in her mouth, and immediately dropped the entire container.

On the concrete floor.

In the middle of the fabric aisle.

If you’ve never witnessed jelly beans hitting the floor at high velocity, imagine twenty-seven tiny missiles escaping captivity and scattering like they’re late for a freedom parade.

Beans under bolts.

Beans behind baskets.

Beans rolling with surprising athletic ability across the wood floor — one nearly made it all the way to the retreat center.

Three other students sprang into action to help. Calling it “help” might be generous.

It was more like a quilting-themed Olympic event:
Jelly Bean Retrieval Gymnastics.

There were knees.
There were elbows.
There was one triumphant shout of, “GREEN ONE! I GOT IT!”

And someone tried to belly-crawl under a table but needed two people and a sermon to get back up.

Just when we recovered from that, another student picked up a bright blue jelly bean, popped it in her mouth, froze, and declared:

“Do NOT eat the blue ones. They taste HORRIBLE.”

The seriousness in her voice could have stopped traffic.

Immediately the entire room halted mid-chew.

You could feel the calculations happening:

How many blue ones did I eat?
Is this why my tongue feels suspicious?
Am I about to glow?

One student spit hers into a napkin like she was disarming a bomb. Another held it up to the light as though testing it for impurities. Someone else suggested we save the blue ones for future craft projects because they clearly weren’t meant for human mouths.

The only thing more dramatic than a blue jelly bean is a bobbin running out two inches before the end of a quilt.

By the time the sugar dust settled, we were laughing so hard we could barely stand — and I’m pretty sure National Bean Day was never meant to be an extreme sport, but here we are.

So happy Funny Friday, where we stitch beautifully, laugh loudly, and apparently host the annual Jelly Bean Games without warning.

-Donna