For the last four years, my family has been selling the Filthy Animal 3:1 Charcoal Bar on Etsy—a jet-black, essential-oil-scented powerhouse of a soap, built for the extremes.

Designed for sensitive skin but tough enough to handle coal mines, cockpits, and combat gyms. It’s been trusted by athletes, rappers, coal miners, celebrities, and fighter pilots alike.

There’s nothing like it.

----> And that's why it has sold over half a million dollars worth on Etsy. And it's going to $1M SOON!

We’ve been sold out for six months.

In just two weeks, our latest batch—fresh off the curing racks—will be ready.

STAY TUNED LIMITED SUPPLY - AND YOU WILL WANT TO BUY THE 6-PACKS!

There's something you should know about this one-of-a-kind bar.

...this bar wasn’t born in a lab.

It came from a chemistry lesson I gave to my 14-year-old son, Blair. I wanted him to understand the forgotten science of Babylonian chemistry—where rebellion met ritual, and soap was more than a cleanser. It was armor. A sacred shield against the brutality of daily life.

Real soap—true soap—is not some cheap detergent block whipped up in a factory. It’s alchemy. And the Babylonians knew it. Over 4,000 years ago, in the cradle of civilization, they were rendering oils, wood ash, and rare resins into bars that healed, cleansed, and protected under the harshest desert conditions. Some formulas took up to a year to cure. That’s not convenience. That’s conviction.

And here we are—drifting in a culture of shortcuts, drowning in the illusion of ease.

College students plagiarize their way to paper crowns,
Teachers press play on AI curriculums written by machines with no soul.

Young pilots chase the paycheck, not the sky - logging hours like they're clocking in at a mall—not dancing with physics, and fate while standing on the shoulder of giants like Antoine St. Exupery, Earnest Gann and Chuck Yeager.

Modern chemists?

Most can’t explain the sacred balance of acid and base,
or how every molecule in nature casts a mirror—an echo of divine symmetry. Instead its the work of a parrot and monkey, playing copycat.

The new gospel?

Take more, give less.

It’s the worship of effortlessness.

A hollow hustle where reward is divorced from ritual, and gain is stripped of grind.

But that’s not our way.

And it never will be.

Every ancient rite has been hijacked by easy buttons. Birth turned into surgery. Pain into a prescription. Food into poison. And soap? Into soulless chemical bricks...

Most commercial soaps are loaded with hormone-disrupting chemicals like triclosan, parabens, and phthalates—synthetic compounds that confuse your body’s natural balance. Triclosan has been shown to interfere with thyroid hormones and androgens, disrupting development and metabolism (Paul et al., Environmental Toxicology and Chemistry, 2012). Parabens and phthalates mimic estrogen and alter reproductive function, leading to hormonal imbalance in both men and women (Rochester, Reproductive Toxicology, 2013).

The result? Feminized men, masculinized women, and a generation stuck in hormonal chaos—all in the name of “clean.”

And yet, nobody questions anything...but they sure suffer the consequences!

That’s not what we do.

The Filthy Animal 3:1 Charcoal Bar is crafted using the exact same slow, meticulous, Babylonian-inspired method. No fillers. No synthetics. No compromises.

Each bar protects your skin, balances your hormones, preserves your natural oils, and restores your glow—with zero toxins.

Because your skin is your first line of defense. Your immune system. Your hormone regulator. Your energetic interface with the world.

It’s not for the lazy. Not for the entitled. It’s for those who still believe in earning their place—skin, soul, and spirit. For those who don’t fear the discomfort, the grind, or the fire…

Because they were made in it.

Stay Tuned! In about 2 weeks I'll be announcing the LIMITED release of Filthy Animal 3:1 Charcoal Bars!