The Lord said, “I will not fail you nor will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5. This portion of Scripture has been my go-to for over a decade. On July 9th, 2015, I was homeless and addicted to drugs. I entered a 12-month faith-based discipleship program on Long Island, New York, where God’s grace and mercy delivered me from drugs and alcohol. I had even more reason to boast and glorify the Lord when, on August 20th, 2016, I went into the hospital to have part of my lung removed due to cancer, only to discover I had become the recipient of Divine healing. The cancer was gone; the doctors were baffled.
I later joined the staff at that discipleship program and worked my way up through the ranks. But one day, a young man whom I played an integral role in the recovery of died of an overdose five days after he graduated. Anger and rage filled my heart towards God. ‘How dare God allow this young man to die?’ After that, I walked away from the very same God who saved my life.
Impurity, pornography, and sexual immorality—things I thought had died along with the drugs and alcohol—began to resurface after that. I was let go from my job and given one choice: PLM or the street. To me, it was a no-brainer. I completed one 12-month discipleship program and worked for them for eight years. Another 9-month discipleship program would not be hard to complete. I arrived at PLM on March 8th, 2023.
I believed I was the perfect, model student. I always had my homework done and always arrived to meetings early. But other students would definitely disagree. Some of them described me as sour, icky, negative, and bitter. I did all the right things, but because I was dead inside, it showed in ways I couldn’t see.
Change didn’t happen all at once; it was gradual. Several grueling counseling sessions and not being advanced into Phase Two of the program, began to crack my stony heart. I spent a week of silence and solitude on the ridge by the cross, praying the Mercy Prayer for all those I harbored bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness towards.
One afternoon, I was in the laundry room doing laundry and homework. I was reading about how Christ remained silent during His trials with His accusers. He was remaining silent in submission to the Father’s plan—a plan that was to redeem me. I was overcome by Godly sorrow. Two weeks later, again in the laundry room, I felt that same sorrow. But this time I felt a sense of forgiveness and peace. It was the same peace as when I had given my life to Christ in 2015, and that I had experienced in the operating room in 2016. I eventually graduated on December 14, 2023 with a new lease on life.
In March of 2026, I had a major health scare. I was hospitalized and I was scared. But God in His mercy reminded me of Hebrews 13:5. “I will not fail you nor will I forsake you.” I may have been scared, but I had a peace within me that was stronger than ever. The foundation that PLM built helped solidify me with the power of God’s Word. That helped me through this crisis without anger or bitterness towards anyone, including God. I also had the support of amazing roommates, all PLM grads, as well as amazing co-workers and my God-loving Church Family.
His grace is Sufficient.
