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Near Death with Covid
By Richard Rozman
My walk with the Lord began in earnest back in 1999 when I was discipled by a PLM counselor in the “Walk of Repentance.” At that time my marriage was a disaster with three very young children about to lose the security of a home and family. I wasn’t sure this PLM thing was going to work but I was going to trust God and give it my all. In the twenty plus years since my graduation there have been many ups, downs, heartaches and joys but God has always been present and faithful. Our marriage and faith continue to grow in His generous mercy, but they also continue to be tested.
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| | Tweet This: Our marriage and faith continue to grow in His generous mercy, but they also continue to be tested. |
| This past Christmas began pretty much as usual but on Dec 26th I began to have mild symptoms of Covid-19 and then tested positive on the 28th. I was doing some home treatments that clearly weren't working and I soon found myself in the hospital with double pneumonia. I am a healthy, athletic guy and arrogantly thought I would be one of those who never even showed Covid symptoms if I got it. However, my scenario would be different; it would be a dark and painful one.
I would begin a two-week downward plunge despite the massive amounts of drugs they crammed into me. IV’s were constantly dripping along with a high flow oxygen compressor assisting my breathing with 30 liters/min of oxygen. The next two weeks were absolute hell and terror. Every day was a setback. Prayers and holding onto God were my only options, and that is what I did.
I wasn’t sure that I would survive this. In my heart I sensed a less than fifty/fifty chance of survival, but I put on a brave positive front for my wife Connie. It turns out that she was doing the same for me. We both thought I was a goner. My faith and trust were completely surrendered into God’s hands. I was at peace with this as best I could be under the circumstances. I had not imagined my life ending this way, but when you trust God it’s okay because it’s always His sovereign decision. It was the battle of my life and I felt helpless.
I was in isolation for 21 days with my only company being the hospital staff who had to don their Chernobyl outfits whenever they entered my room. A huge exhaust fan, that sounded like a lawnmower, ran 24/7 to keep my air away from others. I was tethered to oxygen and IV’s which greatly limited my mobility. This was all accompanied with nausea, chills, muscle cramps and no real sleep because of the massive amount of steroids I was receiving. I would eventually lose 20 pounds in 21 days. I looked like a P.O.W. when I got out.
One of my doctors would later tell me my lung CT scans were kind of famous. Radiology could not believe I had survived! God had other plans for me. Those 21 days actually turned out to be very special as I spent many hours with the Lord and reflecting back on my life. I listened to a lot of sermons as well as a narrator reading the Gospels. This was a great source of comfort and peace alongside FaceTime chats with Connie. My smart phone really came through on this one.
For several years prior I had been asking God to increase my faith and dependence on Him because it wasn’t where it should be. Around day twelve of my hospital stay an event occurred that changed everything. It was another terror filled night as I struggled desperately to breathe, trying in my mind to “swim” to the surface of the water to get air. Up until now I had no commanding sense of God’s Presence. This caused me to dig in and press deeper despite the discouragement.
I sensed somewhere in my heart the Lord say, “Do you remember now? I am answering your prayers and strengthening your faith. Did you think this was going to be easy and painless?” I began to laugh and cry because his Presence had startled me so! This was overwhelming and had me ecstatic: I wasn’t alone, He was with me! I was transformed from a helpless heap of dying roadkill to a sobbing heap of gratitude. I joyfully sensed God’s plans to allow me to live! There must still be work he wants me to do! A ray of light after two weeks of complete darkness was now so sweetly and gently beginning to glow. God was graciously healing me!
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| | Tweet This: In my heart the Lord say, “Do you remember now? I am answering your prayers and strengthening your faith. Did you think this was going to be easy and painless?” |
| One of my favorite passages in the Bible is in John’s Gospel when Jesus is speaking with his apostles. He will be brutally crucified the following day, but his concern is with his little tribe of misfits. He is telling them that he has to go away, but that he will come back for them. He is not just going away, but he will go to hell in our place and take care of business so that we, his children, will be able to abide with him for eternity. Jesus’ words in Chapter 14 have forever changed my life. It truly felt like He came back for me.
The next day the first positive news began to arrive: my chest X-ray showed the virus had stopped advancing and was no longer turning my lungs into broken glass and concrete. Nausea and much of the pain began to leave my body and joyfully I was able to breathe a little easier.
So many friends, family and wonderful people have been desperately praying for me. Some, including Connie, would drive to the hospital and pray for me in the parking lot. This of course reduced me to tears. How could they be doing this for me? I took for granted the godly friends that love me. Only God can take an event as awful as this and turn it into something good.
This painful episode has drawn me closer to God and made His Presence very real in my life. I would have never had the courage to volunteer for this nor would I want to go through it again, but I am so grateful for having gone through it. As I am regaining my health and strength, I look forward to getting back to a more familiar schedule.
Many of these things I have taken for granted. One big one is living only 90 minutes away from the PLM Campus. That has given me the opportunity over the years to attend many worship and chapel services. The passion, intensity and seriousness of those services are a blessing that I don’t take lightly. I am especially grateful to Steve and Kathy for their perseverance and faithfulness over the years in keeping the ministry true to God’s Word and purpose.
Also, to the amazing staff who have discipled me by their example throughout the years with their servant like humility and compassion. I owe you more than I can repay. I know the work you do is demanding and at times beyond what you think you can handle. It is a great testimony as the Lord sustains and even lavishes you with his Grace and Presence to accomplish this work. You are very special brothers and sisters who I am honored to walk beside as we journey together to seek and serve the King of Kings. May He continue to bless and keep you faithful to His calling.
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| | Copyright © 2021 by Pure Life Ministries. Permission is granted to use, copy, distribute, or retransmit information or materials on this page, so long as proper acknowledgment is given to Pure Life Ministries as the source of the materials, and no modifications are made to such material.
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| | Wives: Stand Firm in the Faith
From Purity for Life Episode #415 |
| | Kathy Gallagher has spent decades ministering to wives who have seen their marriages and their lives ripped apart by their husband’s sexual sin. And she can do this because she experienced this in her own life. Her marriage to Steve was far from the fairy tale she had hoped for, but God turned the worst thing that happened to her into something very precious to her. In this interview, she shares the spiritual lessons that came from this time in her life.
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| | | Bless the Lord!
From Entering His Courts by Steve Gallagher
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| "I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Psalm 34:1)
Written next to this verse on the worn page of my Bible is the inscription: “6/11/95—8 guys walked out.” At that point, the Pure Life Ministries’ residential program had been going for 5½ years and was doing well. Nevertheless, some of the men began listening to the complaints and criticisms of a rebellious student and packed up their bags and left.
The morning after these men left, I opened my Bible and my eyes fell on this verse. I knew the Lord was encouraging me in an unexpected way. It was as if He were saying, “Steve, if you will focus on Me, your heart will rejoice and your problems will diminish.”
And that’s exactly what I did. I began thanking God for all of the many wonderful things He had done for me personally and for the many men we had ministered to over the years. I was immediately lifted out of my discouragement and was able to face the day with a renewed hope.
Interestingly, five years before—almost to the day—the same thing had occurred. The six-month-old program only had seven students then—and six of them quit. It was devastating.
The difference was in how I handled this adversity. My “little faith” sent me into a tailspin of despair and fear that I had completely failed in ministry. I was much too aware of myself and not focused upon the Lord nearly enough.
What stands out to me all these years later is how much I had changed during those five years. I simply did not have the spiritual wherewithal in 1990 to bless the Lord in the midst of a painful experience. My first reaction to it was carnal and self-focused. But God was teaching me, to some extent, to live above the circumstances in which I found myself.
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The Christian life is a journey of growth. Sincere believers will allow the Holy Spirit to work His wondrous change inside them. And isn’t one of the primary purposes of a trial to test the person to see how he will react, to reveal the true level of maturity?
Immature Christians—such as the Steve Gallagher of 1990—may be able to open their mouths in praise when everything is going well, but they will not do so when facing adversity. More than likely their response will be one of complaining, fretting or even accusing the Lord.
Think back to the last trial you encountered and make an honest evaluation of where you are in your Christian journey. Allow this self-evaluation to encourage you on to a deeper trust in the Lord.
And how about you?
• Where do you see yourself in your spiritual journey? If you are fairly new to the Christian faith, you shouldn’t demand a mature response of yourself to difficult trials. However, if you have been a believer for many years, you should be able to see a definite pattern of spiritual growth.
• Is there a specific affliction or trial you're dealing with right now? Perhaps you could write your own psalm of praise to the Lord despite this circumstance. Why not try? The Lord is good and His mercies endure forever!
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