To all loyal Texans, everywhere,
Okay, people, you are not going to believe this, but the Constitution Party of Missouri has insulted the honor of the State of Texas, the Constitution Party of Texas, and your mother, in the process!
Those mule-headed "Show Me" Missourians have taunted us with an offer to send us money, if the Texas Rangers win the World Series, but if the St. Louis Cardinals win, we would have to send them money!
In other words, they are betting us that the St. Louis Cardinals are better than the Texas Rangers!
Are we going to take this lying down?
It's a $20 bet!* (See footnote below.)
Please join us with a pledge of $20, and if the Cardinals win, you will send that $20 to CP-Missouri. If, on the other hand, the Texas Rangers win, it will cost you nothing and they will send us $20! Talk about "easy money"!! And we do need it!
As I write this, we already have eight loyal fans who have stepped up to the plate and put $20 on the table, four on each side, so at this moment, one party or the other stands to gain $80 at the end of the World Series. $80? That's an insult. We need $500! So that means we need 25 members to pledge $20 to this fund.
(If you think this is really gambling, please do not participate. Instead, just send $20 to the party, in Texas, immediately, and we'll understand.)
The Cardinals won game one - and could win game two - then we'll have them right where we want them! I expect a 1-1 record after tonight, but it doesn't matter. As Yogi Berra said, "It ain't over 'til it's over!" And I'm putting my money on Hamilton, Young, Kinsler, Cruz, Beltre' and Napoli! How can we lose?
* Technically, of course, this is not a bet, it's a challenge, since the bettor gets no gain from this endeavor. The fun of it is whether their party gets the money, or ours gets it. And the winners are not obligated to pay anything, but wouldn't that be petty, to not go ahead and send your favorite party some matching funds? (We may be back to you on that subject. :c)
NOTE: Contestants need not be residents of Texas or Missouri to participate. Just pick a side and join the fun!
Daniel New
Official Bookie
www.CPTexas.us
PS. Our National Coordinator has researched the by-laws and discovered that there no rules against having a little fun while trying to raise some money. Yet. The National Committee may take it up in the future, but so far we have found a loophole! Please send your commitment of $20 to Bryan Malatesta, or to Daniel New. |
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