To say this marketing practice bugs me is an understatement because real change (and real success) starts from within.

You must admit what IS your fault so that you can change for the better (your habits, your mindset, your actions, your decision-making, and so on).

Where you are (now), what you're doing, how you're doing it, and how you feel about it all are a culmination of (yes) circumstances outside of your control and also:

• your decisions,

• your behavior, and

• your actions.

You have a choice in how you deal with external circumstances (and other people). Those choices impact your results. A lot.

When a fellow partner screams at your best associate:

• You can ask your associate to gut it out to get through the case/deal (only to see them leave for another law firm just 3 months later), or

• You can clearly set boundaries with that partner (maybe even take your associate off the case/deal).

When, just 3 days before Thanksgiving, your biggest client asks you to take on one more matter (that must close before year-end):

• You can politely explain that you and your team do not have the bandwidth (it would be a disservice to them and other clients if you took on the new matter).

• Or you can take it on and cause a ripple effect of stress, worry, and doubt (plus the real chance of a mistake).

And when law firm management passes you over for partnership twice in a row (noting that you’re still not there but are getting closer):

• You can request specifics around what they want/need to see (knowing that this information will be helpful regardless of whether you stay or leave).

• Or you can assume they’re horrible, no-good, terrible people who refuse to advance you (and leave without gaining any information on how you can improve professionally).