Most lawyers (frankly, most high-achievers) have a trust problem. We question everything. We research. We double-check. Then, we reanalyze.
And I’m not just talking about how we view other people (and their ideas/opinions).
We don’t trust ourselves.
That’s why we so often overthink and then second-guess ourselves.
Much of this relates to perfectionism. I’ve yet to know a lawyer (or other high-achiever) who didn’t have perfectionist traits.
I mean, we're known for this trait.
A recent NALP study found perfectionism to be a dominant cultural trait among lawyers. That same study found a strong association between high perfectionism and procrastination, difficulty delegating, and poor workload management.
(Yep, all of these "negative" traits are a result of your perfectionism, not lack of willpower.)
If this sounds familiar (and I'm betting it does), it's time to know where this all comes from.
It all comes down to not trusting yourself.
Not trusting that it’s okay if you don’t know it all.
Not trusting that it’s even okay if a mistake is made.
Not trusting that it’s okay if you find yourself on the wrong path.
And yes, it IS okay. Because you have a brain, can figure things out, and can pivot.
This is what it is to be human.
And news flash, Friend: Your mistakes don't define you (nor do they determine your long-term path).
How you respond to those mistakes and how/when you choose to pivot are more important (and do help to define you).
That's why perfectionism is such a problem (we don't respond well to mistakes or realizing we are on the "wrong" path when holding ourselves to unreasonable standards).
At the end of the day, letting go of perfectionism all comes down to one thing:
Trusting that you can figure things out, make a change, learn, and pivot. Because you can. I know it. It's time for you to accept it, too.
XO,
Heather
P.S. Want to see what learning to trust yourself looks like in practice? On the latest Life & Law episode, a client (Cassie Dallas) walks through her journey from questioning whether she was doing enough to trusting her own judgment with BD.
Listen to Case Study On Building Your Law Practice: Keep Going >>>here.
