This month, our character focus is Deference. The operational definition of Deference is “Limiting my freedom in order not to offend the tastes of those God has called me to serve.”

A person’s preferences may or may not seem important to you. However, by setting aside what you think is best or most efficient and honoring their choice or desire, you are demonstrating deference. Deference communicates Christ’s love as you give preference to others above yourself in order to be a blessing to them. “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another” (Romans 12:10).

The opposite of deference is rudeness. A rude person is unpleasant to be around because he only seems to think about himself. Such a person is inconsiderate. He will turn on a light when someone else is trying to sleep. When someone is on the phone, he impolitely continues to talk loudly. He thoughtlessly plows ahead with his own schedule, ideas, and preferences without consulting others or being willing to change his plans for them. His coarse words and actions are hurtful and offensive. His rude behavior is in stark contrast to Paul’s prayer in Philippians 1:9–10: “And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; That ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offence till the day of Christ;”