Hands up: who likes to receive criticism?
One of our Aha! subscribers, John-Michael, is a copywriter and emailed me a suggestion for one of our regular communication pieces. He began his email with, “I know unsolicited suggestions aren’t looked upon highly” and asked for permission to recommend something he thought would help us be more impactful. I responded that he had “carte blanche”, not that I may take all of his suggestions, but that I appreciated his input based on his expertise and his delivery style.
Now, I remember when I started taking golf lessons, a dozen or so years ago, and random people I played with often felt obliged to correct me. While they were all well-meaning, it is golf etiquette to not offer advice unless someone asks for it (I revert to what J-M just said) and it made me uncomfortable when I felt like I was being watched or judged on a shot-by-shot basis. After all, I was already a newbie and doing my best to apply my lessons and simply enjoy my game.
Do you agree that you accept criticism better when you are ready to receive it? What about the source of the criticism, does that make a difference to you? Is how the criticism presented a factor in whether or not you’ll embrace it?
Aha! ~ Criticism that is both supportive and helpful is always welcome.
“Essentially, there are four main types of criticizers, and their criticism can generally be categorized across two dimensions: supportive or unsupportive in terms of the tone, and helpful or unhelpful in terms of the content.” ~ Danielle Harlan, CEO and Founder of the Centre for Advancing Leadership and Human Potential
Sometimes people can be super motivating and encouraging but too agreeable – they tell you what you want to hear – and may not provide the substance you need to make positive change. The polar opposite style is the expert with ideal feedback but leaves you feeling a little demotivated, great advice, not great tone. Of course, we’ll ignore the haters that criticize to bring you down; you know, the ones who probably tried and failed themselves. And we will focus on those who give thought to their pearls of wisdom to, “…inspire you to want to dig in and do the work.”
In a PPAI article entitled, “Five Impactful Phrases Leaders Should Use More Often” Suzie McAlpine, author of, “The Leaders Digest” blog includes this phrase as #5: What can I keep doing, stop doing or do more of to lead you better? Now, this is implying that strong leaders open themselves to criticism from their subordinates but think for a minute if you asked this question of yourself? Or your child? Or your followers? Then regularly take stock with what is supportive and inspiring. With all that feedback, how easy would it be to level up?
Always remember that critics of all kinds target those who are of high value. #Bringiton!
I’ll share the other four impactful phrases leaders should use more often in our Trailblazer Facebook LIVE Tuesday at noon! Join here.
AND right after – at 1:00 PM Eastern – Aha! Insiders Club members will have an intimate session with this genius neuroplasticity expert, Dr. Jussi Eerikannen, author, “Transforming Vibes, Transforming Lives”. Turn on your membership here and get your Qs ready for this blockbuster session.
Succeed Deliberately!
Jae M. Rang, MAS
Strategist, Speaker, Author, Mom
