If you’ve taken a stage for the first time you’ll likely agree with the masses that public speaking is our greatest fear.
But it’s not.
Our biggest fear is the fear of looking stupid, of being criticized, of not measuring up...which can haunt us on any size stage!
It’s so important for us to fit into society – as a worker, a parent, a volunteer, a friend – that, to some degree, our radar is in tune with what others think in balance with what resonates with our core purpose. Some people are extremely influenced by others’ opinions and a few march almost exclusively to their own drummer. Most of us are somewhere in between.
But did you realize that people’s criticism, or ridicule – AS WELL AS praise and admiration – is more a direct reflection of themselves than it is of you?
“People criticize others out of fear and jealousy. Individuals who are critical of others tend to have low-self esteem and a lack of love for themselves. Individuals who constantly criticize others tend to lack control in their own lives and project their own self-doubts onto others.” According to Joshua David Stone, Ph.D. Transpersonal Psychology.
Here’s the problem when we take this stuff to heart. “The fear of criticism robs man of his initiative, destroys his power of imagination, limits his individuality, takes away his self-reliance, and does him damage in a hundred other ways. Parents often do their children irreparable injury by criticising them.” ~ Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich.
Check out this shortlist again of what happens when this fear feels real
Robs you of your initiative
Destroys your power of imagination
Limits your individuality
Takes away self-reliance
Aha! ~ Do it anyway.
Pay special attention that Mr. Hill doesn’t say it’s the criticism that destroys you. He says it’s the FEAR of that criticism that stifles.
When you put yourself out there in any capacity there WILL be feedback – good, bad, and everything in between – but knowing that the nature of that feedback is a reflection of the self-worth of the individual delivering it, helps you to assess when it’s coming from a good place. Confidence builds from doing. The more you put yourself out there the more “fear” turns to “welcome” and the easier it becomes to embrace what fits and let the rest run off like water on a duck.
Your mission: take the good and forgive the rest
We need to talk! Ssooo … I am going to go LIVE on @jaerangaha on Facebook TOMORROW Tuesday, April 12th at NOON eastern. I’ll remind you by email and on all social media. Gotta keep stepping out!
Succeed Deliberately!
Jae M. Rang, MAS
Strategist, Speaker, Author, Mom
