True Love in Today’s Society is an Endangered Species
Today is September 10th, Suicide Prevention Day, a day set aside to raise awareness about the silent battle many people are fighting. It’s a day where we pause to reflect on the unseen struggles in our world, the cries for help that go unnoticed, and the lives that are tragically lost because we often fail to recognize the dark signs of what someone is going through. In the chaos of modern life, we are losing the capacity to truly love and connect with one another, leaving many in isolation, misunderstanding, and hurt.
Depression, that silent killer, claims the lives of people we love dearly. It creeps into relationships, often unnoticed until it’s too late, and before we realize it, people who love each other become lost in a spiral of miscommunication, misunderstanding, and emotional survival. Too often, both parties retreat into their own worlds, thinking they’re doing what’s best for themselves or the other. But this is far from the truth—it’s a cycle of separation that feeds into despair and alienation, today this is referred to as the loop of doom.
The scariest part of depression is how elusive it can be. It isn’t easily diagnosed, understood, or defined, making it easy for people to misinterpret it, fall into blame, or believe that they’ve been manipulated or hurt by the other person. It’s a fog of emotions—hurt, blame, abuse, victimhood—that takes root when we lack empathy, compassion, and understanding. When we fail to feel deeply, when we don’t take the time to see beneath the surface, we risk letting love and connection wither away.
I have witnessed firsthand how depression can destroy the most beautiful of relationships. I watched as two incredibly intelligent and loving individuals, who were once deeply connected, spiraled into a space where they could no longer hear or see each other. Their trauma ran so deep that it drowned out their love, and the world around them—the societal noise, the distractions—won. They separated, losing each other in the shadows of what they missed about one another. They were not strangers, but two people who once shared laughter, joy, and love. Now, when I see either of them, I see only glimpses of the person they used to be. A brief spark of light flickers before it is snuffed out by bitterness and sadness.
It is tragic how hurt—when left unattended—becomes a killer far more insidious than we’re willing to admit. Hurt leads to more deaths than many of us are prepared to face. The antidote? Compassion. Empathy. These two simple yet powerful virtues are what we need if we are to heal our world and ourselves.
As actor Denzel Washington once said, “Commitment gets you started, but consistency is what gets you to the finish line.” So today, I ask: What are you committed to? How are you showing up consistently for the people you love? Who in your life is going through a dark time, and how are you working to truly reach them?
We live in a world where communication often falls short, where we drift away from the people we care about because we lack the tools to bridge the gap. There are resources available to help us reconnect with loved ones, and we must be humble enough to seek them out. Don’t let something beautiful be ruined because of pride. Don’t allow arrogance or the weight of our own egos to be the demise of a future love story.
Depression isolates. It clouds judgment. The person who seems unreachable may just need a moment of calm, a soft place to land, a compassionate conversation. Before we lash out or retreat into our own dark solitude, we must seek help. There is always one reason to continue, even when there seem to be a thousand reasons to give up.
Love, in its truest form, is becoming extinct in our society. We see it replaced by fleeting connections in places that you should not be, shallow conversations, swiping, and misunderstandings that build walls instead of bridges. But we can revive love. We can be part of the solution, not the problem. On this Suicide Prevention Day, reach out to someone you know is struggling. Tell them you love them. Forgive them for the ways they’ve tried to cope with their pain. Understand that their running away or lashing out is not entirely their fault. Many people simply don’t know any other way to deal with the overwhelming hurt inside.
We are not all built equally strong. Some of us are here to protect those who cannot protect themselves, to stand by them in their darkest moments, and to offer a light in the shadows. This is the time for compassion, for empathy, and for love that heals rather than destroys.
The triennial theme for World Suicide Prevention Day for 2024-2026 is "Changing the Narrative on Suicide" with the call to action "Start the Conversation". This theme aims to raise awareness about the importance of reducing stigma and encouraging open conversations to prevent suicides.
9 Ways to Recognize and Support Someone Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts or Depression:
Withdrawal from Loved Ones: If someone suddenly isolates themselves, they may be struggling. Don’t let them retreat; reach out with kindness.
Sudden Changes in Behavior: Look for drastic mood swings or changes in habits. If they stop doing things they once loved, this is a red flag.
Expressions of Hopelessness: If they start talking about feeling hopeless or like a burden, it’s time to intervene.
Giving Away Personal Belongings: When someone starts giving away meaningful items, it may be a sign they’re planning to leave.
Increased Use of Drugs or Alcohol: Substance abuse is often a coping mechanism for deeper issues like depression or suicidal ideation.
Self-Harm or Talk of Death: Any mention of self-harm or an unhealthy preoccupation with death should be taken seriously.
Irritability and Outbursts: While depression is often associated with sadness, it can also manifest as irritability and anger.
Decline in Physical Health: If someone starts neglecting their personal health or hygiene, this may be a sign of deeper emotional struggles.
Verbal Cues: Don’t ignore offhand comments like “I don’t think I can do this anymore” or “The world would be better without me.” These are often cries for help.
How to Break the Ice:
Start the Conversation: A simple “How are you, really?” can open doors.
Listen Without Judging: Sometimes, the greatest gift you can give is simply listening without offering solutions or judgments.
Offer Support, Not Solutions: You don’t need to fix them; just be there to hold their hand through the storm.
Encourage Professional Help: Gently guide them toward resources like therapy or support groups.
Follow Up Consistently: Don’t let it be a one-time conversation. Consistency shows that you genuinely care.
Create a Safe Space: Let them know they can talk to you without fear of judgment or rejection.
Be Patient: Healing takes time. They may not open up right away, but your presence is what matters.
Remove Stigma: Encourage open conversations about mental health, and remind them that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Speak with Love: Always let love guide your words, no matter how dark the conversation may seem.
Remember, God is love, and love is what heals. Be the person who brings light into someone’s darkness. Fostering support is the greatest gift you can give.
I love you all.
Alfonso ~ AfriKin
