Depression affects approximately 17.3 million American adults each year. If you’re in a relationship with someone who is dealing with depression, whether it’s a new condition or something they’ve lived with for years, it can be challenging. 

It’s natural to have mixed emotions and feelings of anger or frustration from the situation - along with grief and guilt. While no playbook gives you a step-by-step template for supporting your partner who is dealing with depression (everyone’s experience is unique to them), there are a few things you can do to help you and your loved one. 

Educate Yourself

Unless you’ve suffered from depression yourself, it’s difficult to fully understand its effect on a person -- which can make it difficult to truly relate to your partner. The best solution is to educate yourself about what depression looks like and how it might present itself. For example, they may start sleeping too little or too much, go through extreme weight changes, have increased anxiety, become unable to make decisions, and experience bursts of anger or fatigue. Understanding the common symptoms will help you anticipate what they might need from you -- and a reminder to extend grace for these feelings and emotions they can’t control.

Take Care of Yourself

When you’re in a relationship with someone suffering from depression or other mental health issues, so much of your time, energy, and emotional strength will be focused on them. This can wreak havoc on your own psychological and physical health. And if you aren’t well enough to care for yourself, how can you expect to care for someone else? It’s like the oxygen mask on the plane; you need to put YOURS on first before you help someone else. Even if your partner is having a hard time, it’s OK to think about yourself, too.