I surprised myself at how open I was with the other women in the room, sharing for the first time details about a childhood sexual abuse experience. They held no judgment. They created a safe space for me to utter thoughts and feelings I had carried for years.

This moment happened during the inaugural "Empowering Women to Heal: Trauma Training" led by Drs. David and Beverly Sedlacek and Rena Majors, RN, hosted by the Southeastern Conference of Seventh-day Adventists. The goal of the intense weekend training was to equip women to “bring awareness, education and practical tools to church leaders and communities” about the trauma held within our family of faith.

I was challenged to seriously work through what happened in my life starting in 2012 with the passing of my brother, my husband, my best friend and my niece. I also lost my job and had my bar license temporarily suspended. I lost my identity and purpose and faced unexpected financial insecurity.

It's really hard for people like me who stay in their heads to deal with, address, and acknowledge the pain and discomfort of the trauma and abuses inflicted upon us. We seem to be totally lacking a vocabulary of emotional/feeling words to label the events that have traumatized us.

I'm exhaling because I'm admitting to God that I feel disappointed and confused, that I feel conflicted. It must be acknowledged. 

I have to do the very hard emotional work and get to the point of forgiveness. Literally the sad thing about unforgiveness is that it's like we are taking the poison. Our lives are being negatively impacted and somehow or another we think that's going to affect the person who caused our abuse and our trauma.

It doesn't work that way.

It never has.

Forgiveness is not for the OTHER person. Forgiveness is for me. It's for you.

And once we're free, we are free indeed.

Hallelujah, praise God x3.

Now that I have completed the training, I look forward to sharing this powerful resource for women to begin and to continue transformative and life-changing breakthroughs on their journey to understanding how to live THE balanced life.

Would you like me to share this training in your church or community? Contact me at 850-888-2433 (leave a message) or JudithHawkins@GRM2.net.